Bugs and Rabbits and Storms, Oh My!

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The blossoms in my garden plot sprang up to all turn weeds,    
my having seemingly sewn naught but hosts of rotten seeds,    
which tenderly I tended to in nursing at my breast,    
both mammaries and nipples proud the best once of the best,    
the twee alveoli producing magic in the milk,    
each fatty grapevine cluster of the transcendental ilk,    
the spider web of milk ducts by a sibyl sylphlike spun,    
swift done ere seven compasses quick coursed the mystic sun,    
the webbing honeyed silver silk slow bred by hallowed worms,    
comprising bacteroides plus the finest fungal germs,      
and dyed in pearl and caster sugar pure of maidens' hearts,    
by one true wizened wizard in the gastronomic arts --      
     
Imagine thus the endless unimagined full assaults    
on every swooning nerve when having lost its smelling salts    
it shocked is by the countless budding weeds struck dead by frost    
with countless more by javelinas wandering crude crossed    
and more than countless stomped to death by cattle dumb misplaced    
or laid to waste in brownies baked by druggie squash bugs spaced    
while legions from the garden by an act of hail cast out  
slow drowning in a flood from Heaven prior to a drought    
on being chewed by rabbits pulled from out some rhymester's hat    
straight swallowed whole are by a mole tsar's gopher autocrat    
till here in weeds of mourning weeps this salt of righteous tears --    
its babies slain, its lady parts long past the menstrual years . . .    
     
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Contest: Bugs and Rabbits and Storms, Oh My!  
   
Sponsor: Kinkpoet  
   
Prompt: Write a poem about your gardening challenges.  Some of the challenges in my garden, for instance, include late frost, wandering javelina, misplaced cattle, hail, drought, squash bugs, rabbits, moles, and gophers.  
   
Form: Rhyme in Iambic Heptameter  
   
Major Literary Devices: Extended Metaphor, Symbolism, Imagery, Allusion, Personification, Synecdoche, Alliteration, Assonance, Inversion, Internal Rhyme, End Rhyme, Pun, and Irony  
   
Theme: The  Pestilent Plot of Procreation