Birthday Cake

Don’t give me that look of distain,  
of arrogance, of pity, I don’t need it.
I didn’t ask for any of this, I was,
literally pushed into it. Was a few  
minutes of pleasure on Christmas
worth a lifetime of shame and ignominy  
 
I was forced into school which I hated
I was dragged into church where I was bored
and told the sky with the angels was our goal.
I loved beer under the bleachers after school.  
Cigarettes were so cool and made me feel  
so good. Then, there were women, many and often.  
Love, naw, that’s just a word used to justify desire.
 
My need for alcohol was only exceeded by my
love of pills. Uppers, downers, a little grass in  
between were my heaven. Until that magic needle  
that took me out of all this misery to a place without  
rules or expectations. A place where I was floating  
and free of the stares and shame.
 
So I got caught with my stash. So what, big deal.  
Just one more “put down” in the long line of  
gifts from that Christmas fling. Now, I get to sit in  
here for decades, four walls, three squares  
and two hours in the yard each day. Lotsa time to
contemplate that muse who charts everyone’s  
course to either love and family or here,  
to this stone tomb, buried alive. Well, it’s  
August 12th, Happy Birthday to me. No party here.
As for this gift well, take this “gift” and, well you know!

So you want it real. . .as in honesty—  
the kind that rattles your spirit  
as a straight-up shot of whiskey,  
no rocks or fruity drinks;  
 
well, okay. . .  
 
mine is gratitude  
because it's 100 proof, real  
honest and true—  
 
it's also handmade  
from my own copper still  
 
See, at my age, I know  
what conflicts are  
regardless of circumstance—  
mere opportunities to grow  
regardless of resolution  
 
They propel the vibration  
of our evolution toward Unity  
while maintaining individuality—  
iron sharpening iron    
 
These backroom brawls  
can transform the darkest energy  
to light if given a chance—  
 
it doesn't mean pretending  
these black eyes or busted lips don't exist—  
on the contrary, they need to be recognized  
for what they are on this physical plane:  
drunken illusions not carved in stone  
 
Today is a new hair-of-the-dog day  
allowing us to surrender judgment  
along with guilt or regret—  
release any need to prove ourselves  
in modalities of chosen belief
within confines of right or wrong  
 
Fresh water and a mop is all it takes  
to cleanse last night's blood and vomit  
from the class room floor—  
until the next brawlers enroll  
 
What? I told you it was gratitude—  
100 proof, and I thank you  
for the opportunity to learn  
 
But, if you don't mind. . .  
I think I'll abstain next time—  
I'm too old for this shit!  
 
I'll take a piece of cake instead  
~

It was circa nineteen seventy-something 😉
When some stars in the firmament danced,
Now the August skies light up so bright,
Leaving us sky watchers entranced.

Upon hearing about this ballet,
Perseus sent his sons across the universe,
So they traverse the Milky Way,
Traveling with tremendous burst.

And when the Perseids fly by,
They leave persistent colorful trails of light,
Like birthday candles to make a wish,
As they dance across the night.

Our fates are bound to the heavens,
In constellations from long ago,
Because when giants send gifts,
It’s an honor that they bestow.

First impressions, we all have em,
some better than others.
(She has unintentionally set the stage) 
( screeeeck) wait up,  rewind,  there
is intention in all that you do.
Sky dancer. 

Morning breaks,  and so does
the damn tea cup.
One sip, and R.S. Prussia cracks
Earl's seeping onto already stained tatting, great. As I sit and stare 

Straight up quiet, I can hear the
sounds of the wren on the front
stoop,  tapping his beak on the
saucer under the plant, beside
the door.  

Little wren Morris code,  it seems
he's tapping out,  what?
Happy Birthday to me !!
Thank you beautiful creature
you remembered. 

One match left,  going to need more than one,  for my morning birthday celebra- um reefer-bration. 
Candle!! Yes,. 

Quiet, it's so quiet, looking down
lovely color brown spilled tea has
begun to create it's own universe
on the tray.

A view,  into whatever
I want it to be
I see snow capped mountains,
with some hunky ski captain trying
to keep up with a half frozen topless bunny. haha yup I would.

Blowing lightly on this tiny lake
before me causing turbulence
creating a beautiful garden
of bonsai.

Shapes shift quickly into words
and phrases, some I've seen before some not , sends warm shivers
up my butt. 

Interrupted by the whistling kettle
I get up to pour hot water gently
over choice leaves this time 
in a sturdy mug.

  Steep, 
Sleep,  just for a minute
longer wake me when
it's over we'll talk about it

Big it up, show my ass, flounce my tits
Individuality on the cards, so light the spit
Rave all night, get dressed up, let down my hair
Tap dance on clouds like Fed Astaire
Happy wishes reign in freefall
Diamond glitter scattered on my ego
Anything to make my parents feel so proud
Yahoo! going on, from today unbowed
 
Look honey you've got a poem with your Birthday cards
 
Come the day of your birthright
from babe of innocence and hopes delight
fresh from the womb, cast in our elements
astrology the sum of our content
dates the times, kith and kin's choir song
 Fortune  paste our fate cruel or sublime
balloons of happy altitude  
affections thin string so strong
helium of presents tied
just what I desired: the small white lie
cardiac beats all swelled with pride
scrawled crayon's best regards
candle power; puff and wish
few or many those  digits autograph
in happiness or tears, chiseled as your epitaph
for every year, the savoured sweetness of each slice
the icing covered counter of your life