With an Angel shared

Good bye, soul friend!
My heart empty with your absence,
My soul full with your fragrance.
My life richer with meeting you.

You walked across my naked soul
Leaving footprints
Where flowers now grow.

Touching the gift of long ago
glacial tears escape my hold
memories of you threaten
pulling me under with each breath
 
The winter chill touches deep
wrapping ribbons around bone
touching muscle and sinew
with the intimacy of a lover
 
Slipping on soft and succulent delights
slowly melting the rawness
of your loss
purple stripped socks anchor
warming my heart
when life’s icy hand embraces

 
Sometimes I just know things
There is no real system to it
No spooky psychic connection
I can't bottle it and market it
I can't make a medication out of it
I would be a millionaire if I could

It's really hard to explain
I could say it's a feeling
In my water or my guts
But it is so much more
It's even more than a feeling
It's a surge of personal certainty
It gives you confidence enough
To turn beliefs into known facts
Usually only known by me alone
But as someone once said I am
A great man and I know things
So certain things I now know

My heart was broken for the last time
I refuse to invest that much love again
I will go to my grave never having known
What it's really like to be loved I had a glimpse
But that glimpse was a mirage that evaporated
I know I can't live like this
I know I don't want to live like this
I know that the game is up
I know that the dance is over
I know the damage to my heart is severe

The breakage is fatal, or certainly terminal
There is no way back from this, I know that
I know my feelings inside are destroying me
Day by day, but I can't or won't let it stop
Sometimes the damage that is done is irreparable


So what do I do with this knowledge I know
I have had lots of advice some good, some not so
Be positive better things are heading your way
I don't want better things they're still second best
So advice is not going to change my path
Hoping to live in hope is hopeless
Living a life that has become meaningless
Is a pointless waste of oxygen and skin
The die is cast the time scale set and running

Something else I know and I leave you with this
Be careful who you love and how you love them
Learn to take real care of each other's hearts
We have the power to love passionately
We also have the power to destroy and kill
The jilted lover who never recovers
So I am still the incurable romantic

He had the face of an angel
he smiled and winked his eyes
raised his eyebrows, gave a sigh
He had the face of an angel

A glowing light shone round his face
no darkness near him, not a trace
He had the face of an angel

He had a look of wisdom behind his eyes
no need for singing lullabyes
He had the face of an angel

I felt his heartbeat next to mine
I felt his breath, I saw him shine
He had the face of an angel

I held him tight, he didn't cry
Despite I knew this was goodbye
He had the face of an angel

I held his head, he breathed his last
one hour of life, his life now past
He had the face of an angel

Lifeless he slept, as I cuddled and cried
though life had gone and breath expired
He still had the face of an angel

Still, he wouldn't know hate or fear or rejection
His final reincarnation on his way to perfection
He had the face of an angel

His eyes, his smile I'll never forget
My tears on his cheek were not ones of regret
He had the face of an angel


I'll never forget him,  I never can
my son who would never have to be a man
But he had the face of an angel

I then looked up and saw her pain
her face all wet from the eyes that rain
She had the face of an angel

She smiled, winked her eyes
she raised her eyebrows, gave a sigh
She had the face of an angel

I knew her loss, I knew her pain
I knew I loved her just the same
She had the face of an angel

We sit in peaceful quite at night
and remember his face in that glowing light
Our Son, with the face of an angel

It’s been a while I know,
I said as I went into the cold.
It’s been about 20 years I think.
I’m putting on years and getting old.

Been a while since we had a talk.
That is my fault and I'm sorry.
Found an album of racing pictures.
Of your time while in the Army.

You have two awesome grandkids.
My two kids are grown and gone.
Married again, this one will last.
Finally happy now, no longer alone.

Glenn is racing better than ever.
Won two championships in a row.
He had a bit of a health scare.
Two stints now let the blood flow.

Our mom is doing great.
She takes care of the land and home.
We all live in the same area now.
The deer in the backyard still roam.

I finally have a garage like we had.
You know what that time meant to me.
I can now build like we used to do.
I wish you could come over and see.

Don't know why you were taken from us.
But we don't forget your love.
We all feel safe, sound and warm.
Knowing you watch us from above.


R. S. Morris

12/20/2018

Dear Frank, I want to be frank with you,
I want to be open and honest with what I’m about to say,
Because even though I said goodbye some time ago,
I’m blue because today it ended this way.  

I know you had your demons, they’re hard to let go,
But you fought hard and fell and got up and fell again,
And though you didn’t always make the best choices,
After so many long talks, I know there was good in you.  

I know we laughed, we cried and you tried,
But I always loved hearing you talk to your grandchildren,
You were such a loving man when you were there,
Just like I remember when I was ten.  

Dad, I’m sorry I’m mad, I feel sad but mostly bad,
I should’ve called, I should’ve picked up the phone,
Because every time we hung up you said “I love you son, love you son”,
Knowing how you were so alone.  

But I’d like to think of you in better times,  
All the shenanigans and pranks you used to play,
All the stories uncles and aunts told me about you,
That’s the Frank I’ll remember till my dying day.

I like imagine that somewhere up there the futbol gods,
Are giving semi old pros like you a chance to realize their dream,
That you’ve put on those cleats for old time sake and when you play,
The cheers of a hundred sound like forty thousand scream.  

I’d like to picture we’re back on the black sand in ‘74,
Hearing the words you said in the photo I wished you’d repeat,
Because somewhere in the memories of me and you,
We are young again with the crashing waves at our feet.
Rest in Peace.