Rebel

I've always known life as a poker game
Calculating potential by the hand we've been dealt
We're faced with choices, one
After another, with no scale to measure morality
Nor the consequences we're dragged through

Our parents raise us
Injecting us with their own views, perspectives
And values
They force perfection on us,
Dragging us to to whiten our teeth, to force a masterpiece
That wasn't meant to be
I recall the decision when I was seven years old
Evil beckoned from the dark
Corners of my mind
The thoughts that are my deepest secret
And most shameful fear
Almost doing acts that were the symptoms of serial killers
Yet I turned my head, crawled my way
Out of the dark that laughed at my feeble attempts
To breathe light

A walking contradiction,
Dyed hair and piercings,
Combat boots and cigarettes,
But raised in perfection of education
And charisma, social etiquette
As I grew older, my ideals began to different greatly
From those who raised me
I saw the darkness in their hearts, mirroring the heart I could
Have chosen that cold day in September

So I fought, blindly,
Scratching at the hands that fed me
And instead hunting for my own
I hit back to his punches
I stopped listening when she shouted
I became free

The independence, however,
Was not priceless
Guilt plagues my lungs and loneliness
Dances on my ribcage
A young hurricane, created from silver and gold
But stuck in the rainbow of the oil slick
Gifted, they say
Broken, I argue
Naive, he shouts
Wiser, I spit
Dumb, she laughs
Brave, I whisper
Criminal, it murmurs

Rebel, I call

This country, is blind
its messing with my mind
 to see people, go about their everyday lives,
 feeling patriotic while sending the youth to fight
against enemies of leadership
Im talking bout the ones who run the U.S
And by leadership, I mean that slavery isnt dead
 they are the  ones who lead our ships
, feed us our bread , we eat it up, while they crack their whip
, wake up your votes all amount to zip
Electorial college, ha the presidency is predetermined, knowledge
 but little do you know, hes only a face to all our problems
no im not a conspiracy theorist, but thats put in your mind
 so that you wont hear this
 just like the fear is to ask no questions
A theory is only a theory untill there is evidence
The facts are all around this nation,
 the land of the free is ran by corperations,
That leaders of the world are in cooperation, with
The richest one percent, who out of all our money own 90%
Population kept unaware, and affraid of a terrorist threat
The threat lies within
They haves plans of doing us in, disposing, of men, women, and kids,
They treat us like trash, citating the citizing for littering
But litterally, have body bags for each  and everyone us to be sitting in
Did you know that biliions, litterally billion of tax money is secretly spent
, so secret, that it is not known to our branches of government.
Evil, pure in its darkest sense,
But wehave the fight, and im helping shed a lil light on the subject
, so please, if your even, upset, feel it's lies , or really surprised, quit leading the blind
, unless you yourself have opened your eyes
This is only, a tiny bit, of what is
The haunting truth,
Counter react like whats the proof
Besides your gut feeling being the proof,
 lies slip n gather more lies, the truth is always the truth

The last thing I expected was for you to leave
it's quiet around here
without the sound of your footsteps on the floor in the morning it feels empty  
it's like you died and your ghost still lingers here in these walls, in this apartment
it feels like you are still here but I know you're not  
I can here you snore at night sometimes, only now do I cherish things like that  
 
When you loaded the last of your things in your car I had to shut the door because I couldn't let you see me cry
I had to be strong
I told myself it was the right thing to do  
 maybe it wasn't  
 
this morning I deleted all of our photos on my phone
my favorite one is of us standing in front of the ocean in Myrtle Beach  
I lingered with that one for a minute looking at how happy we use to be  
now I know it was just an illusion  
I wish I knew that back then  
 
When I found her bra stuffed in the closet I knew it wasn't mine but you swore it was  
I knew better  
Why did you have to do what you did then lie about it?  
I knew the truth when I looked at your phone  
 
even though I was the one that made you leave  
I still want you here
I had to get rid of the sheets because no matter how many times I would wash them they would smell like your aftershave  
 
I have to stay strong  
the ghost of you still haunts me  
but I know better  
I will never pick up the phone  

  
On the eve of the second Great Depression —
We found a housing bubble that would pardon the rich —  
Carved into the margins of a marketing myth —  
Bound to downward struggle as it started to shift,  
and you’re the mark, we’ve been targeted, the market is fixed —    
Property is robbery, serving an aristocracy  
where freedom we observe is subservient to plutocracy,  
a dream deferred —“burgeoning democracy”;  
reoccurring absurdities converging on hypocrisy  
while heeding the words —“fervor” and “philosophy”;  
so what's an oligopoly's policy on monopoly  
when fleecing the herd —nursing inequality,  
or nurturing hyperbole for worshipping economies  
depleting the Earth? —perjury’s a novelty  
when purchasing a circus of encircling monotony;  
adjourned —for the purpose of it furthering    
the disconcerting poverty it purged —  
…and preserving obvious ventures —they'll be watching  
as conscientious objectors are oddly met with conjecture  
in a system that dismisses its omnipresent oppressors —  
Living in derision where godly essence is measured  
by imprisonment of victims it’d probably sentence forever —  
Business of attrition, it lobbied deadly endeavors  
while topping many dissenters at prodding enemy threats —  
It’s impressive, the frigid, rigid, and wretched  
had limited dividends to the timid heavy in debt —  
The objective, insipid lending of credit  
while robbing every incentive, admitting any in jest —  
An inception embedded into its citizens,  
or sicknesses injected, omitting any regrets  
while alleging it’s competitive —given sedatives,  
while sitting at the precipice, living envy the dead;  
they’re envisioning an emptiness as connections are severed —  
Up the dosages, we can cope with the loneliness;    
the holiest of holies are only known for these opiates —  
Weak and broken, as we awoke in erroneous  
reasoning; each a demon who reeks of foreboding soullessness —  
Sleepless dreaming, as seen decoding felonious    
secrecy; it’s intriguing and eases shouldering hopelessness —  
private gatherings are happening for regulation;  
grappling tenacity, their tapestry of legislation —  
It was more than just our apathy, a resignation;  
mastering depravity would atrophy a generation —  
It was maddening, the magazines and emulation;  
nothing but a strategy unravelling our education —  
Dedicated to status and fashion, actively —  
Demonstrating our sadness and laughing passively —  
Living lavishly where flattery’s a reparation,    
’til they felt the gravity of tragedy and devastation —  
With a baffling capacity for separation,  
scavenging for batteries and rationing their medications —  
…Turned to savagery,    
while having these Earth shattering revelations —    
Or to piety, the blind will lead the deaf in the dark,  
then hide the meaning; there's no rhyme or reason left in the art  
to find the irony —line of questioning, charges;  
silent treatment led to violent beatings; mentally scarred  
by wily mind readers piloting the menacing guards  
of high society —time, regretfully ours  
to find sobriety while spiraling incredibly far from our reality —  
Life legacies marred by lean banalities —  
…Wage slavery, chasing a meager salary,  
competing with the neighbors and faking congeniality  
at day’s end —“savior”’s a weak analogy  
for teaching paganism and praising convenient fallacies  
of made men —allegiant, albeit callously;  
maybe they think the boundary’s egregious, although cowering    
to lame trends —they’re entertaining tradition  
while contagious entertainment’s used to tame them —  
…it will mitigate desensitization  
as they inundate assimilated mechanization —  
Then disintegrate collectivization  
while they “liberate” through innovative weaponization —  
Speaking of armed foes and cynical principles,  
you can borrow your tomorrows like a “free individual” —  
…then Anarcho-Syndicalism    
is seen as trivial, but teaching Neoliberalism  
will keep us “civil” as they barcode political systems —  
We, the indivisible, pleading, if being literal;  
as harrowing, as we are sheepish and pitiful —  
Need no other reason for proceeding as criminals,  
we’re breathing —even though we’re reaching the pinnacle  
adjacent to forsaken places made for human waste —  
As if our state of nature was awakening too late —  
This is our innate capitulation to The State —  
Where change has been abated by the chains that keep us safe —  
   
© Travis J Gibbs, The ANT1-HER0 Project