Thoughts Of The Breaking Heart

Your face is my latched-on ghost
It haunts me at unguarded times.
Your eyes stare into mine when I blink
your tongue strokes mine when I breathe
You hand brushes my jaw when I speak
and I wonder when I'll be free.

I can smell your skin when I walk
Feel your hair in my fingers
feel your hands on my waist when I stand
Feel your arms around me
feel your warmth against my chest
and I wonder when I'll be free.

It's bittersweet, this love.
It tastes like you did when things got...

intimate.

I bared all of me to you
vulnerability does not come easy.
Yet I stood naked before you
before you told me to build walls you didn't want built.
Before I was scared of my feelings.
Before your best friend whispered
snake-like,
"she's unhealthy for you".

Her hands twined around your neck
throttling your words
and holding you back
her finger nails broke the skin
and scratched down to your heart
picking at your feelings
like a loosely tied bow.

And it unraveled.

You said bridges were burned.
If that was true, I would've walked through the blaze
Found a way to walk on water
Swam through the foulness
Emblazoned myself with the ash until I was as black as her heart
until I found you again.

I was ready to fight.

You?

You were ready to fall.

If my love for you is a fire
let it burn.
Eventually all blazes become embers.
and before long
I'll be cold...

(ready to phoenix your motherfucking arse to the ground,  you son of a bitch)

Inspired by Jack White's The Rose With A Broken Neck.

She forgot who I was
She didn’t know me anymore
Looking puzzled she shook her head
Before slowly closing the door
I wasn’t gone that long
And I was her lover and good friend
Had I been unfaithful or abusive
Would’ve she have remembered me then?
As my eye’s swell with tears
I walk away into the cold night
When suddenly I ask myself
“Did I get the address right?”

The memories have faded,    
And with them,    
Much of the pain.    
     
As those memories faded,    
The anger,    
Why him?    
Why not me?    
Vanished,    
Wondrously,    
Completely.    
     
Bright colorful snapshots,    
Replaced by,    
A mellowed image,    
Washed out,    
Nearly lost to the fog of time,    
Grainy,    
Nearly transparent,    
Gray,    
Shadowy.    
Remembrances,    
Of what once was.    
     
Bits still survive,    
In Sepia.    
     
I held your hair back,    
While you vomited,    
Your too much beer,    
You had at the party.    
     
Walking across campus,    
My arm around your waist,    
Your hand in my back pocket.    
     
Walking in the warm spring rain,    
Soaking wet,    
Laughing,    
We were so very young.    
     
There are many,    
No longer vivid,    
Still warm me at night,    
Faded,    
Not forgotten.    
     
I thought of you,    
The other day,    
When Joanie,    
Died.    
Alone.    
Breast cancer.    
     
Your wedding was the week,    
After mine.    
Yours ended,    
Mine is dying.    
     
I Googled,    
The name,    
I knew you by;    
Nothing.    
     
I Googled,    
The name you took,    
Marrying him,    
Before divorcing him;    
Nothing.    
     
Vanished.    
     
Achingly.