Fictional Prose Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Short stories and chapters from books and novels
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
25th Oct 2024 3:41pm
25th Oct 2024 3:41pm
First and Last Kiss
I wasn’t making any progress on my work and the deadline is in a week. I decided that I need a more structured environment. Being home my mind tends to wander to the wrong things. Focus has to me my main priority of the day.
Looking at the phone flashing showing a name that I do not want to talk to right now. If I am being honest at least to myself. It is him that is destroying my concentration. I saved my work, closed my laptop and grabbed my keys.
I had a thought to leave my phone but I knew that would not be wise. Other people like my publicist would need to...
Looking at the phone flashing showing a name that I do not want to talk to right now. If I am being honest at least to myself. It is him that is destroying my concentration. I saved my work, closed my laptop and grabbed my keys.
I had a thought to leave my phone but I knew that would not be wise. Other people like my publicist would need to...
#emotions
#gratitude
#loneliness
214 reads
14 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
21st Oct 2024 8:26pm
21st Oct 2024 8:26pm
The Silver Fox and the Huntress ( Ending)
As the fox follows the huntress, there are feelings. Natural instincts, to run and to never see this place again. But there is some kind of mystical force. A power he had never known that compels him to follow.
He entered a room he had never seen before. A room where you could not see the walls. They were covered and shared fabrics in colors of burnt amber and Tuscany brick. He paused at the door, and without even turning around, she said,” Come, come now. You do want that taste, do you not?”
Breathing in deep, a scent accosted him. An unfamiliar scent yet...
He entered a room he had never seen before. A room where you could not see the walls. They were covered and shared fabrics in colors of burnt amber and Tuscany brick. He paused at the door, and without even turning around, she said,” Come, come now. You do want that taste, do you not?”
Breathing in deep, a scent accosted him. An unfamiliar scent yet...
#orgasm
#seductive
#sensual
193 reads
12 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
21st Oct 2024 2:37am
21st Oct 2024 2:37am
The Silver Fox and The Huntress
Let me tell you a story about the great silver fox.
You may think this is an animal that runs in the woods. In the wild, and well, I don't want to dispute that.
These woods are made of concrete and steel. The huntresses have set out in search of the Silver fox.
Legend has it that the reason he has survived so long was due to his virility.
He's cunning and adaptable. Says all the right words and touches all the right places.
The moon is full tonight, and the huntress is on a mission.
Will she be able to capture this fox? ...
You may think this is an animal that runs in the woods. In the wild, and well, I don't want to dispute that.
These woods are made of concrete and steel. The huntresses have set out in search of the Silver fox.
Legend has it that the reason he has survived so long was due to his virility.
He's cunning and adaptable. Says all the right words and touches all the right places.
The moon is full tonight, and the huntress is on a mission.
Will she be able to capture this fox? ...
#passion
#seductive
#sensual
188 reads
18 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
19th Oct 2024 11:04am
19th Oct 2024 11:04am
Carnival Of Memories
I still remember the good old days.
When music plays and wind sways.
We would be happy in so many ways.
Carefree,freedom.
In your own home and room.
Love ,freedom.
To choose your husband,groom.
I remember when I was a kid and my grandma took me to a carnival.
Cotton candy,kebab.
And lots of toys for sale.
Happy music,my heart.
Feeling happy,swell.
There would be people all around.
Kids,adults,teenagers.
Who all came to celebrate.
Kids of all ages,who can't wait!
Some people came for...
When music plays and wind sways.
We would be happy in so many ways.
Carefree,freedom.
In your own home and room.
Love ,freedom.
To choose your husband,groom.
I remember when I was a kid and my grandma took me to a carnival.
Cotton candy,kebab.
And lots of toys for sale.
Happy music,my heart.
Feeling happy,swell.
There would be people all around.
Kids,adults,teenagers.
Who all came to celebrate.
Kids of all ages,who can't wait!
Some people came for...
#happiness
#hope
#motivational #uplifting
#motivational #uplifting
67 reads
1 Comment
Lowko
Jimi Tatz
Jimi Tatz
Poem Published
17th Oct 2024 11:07pm
17th Oct 2024 11:07pm
Carstr8ed
The good ol'days, it seemed so long ago,
With sci-fi flicks ‘bout robots and the underworld shows.
"Demolition Man," "Fifth Element," "Blade Runner," too,
Even "iRobot"... just to name a few!
It’s ‘ere now, sharp as a knife,
A world not like the one we knew in life.
Mechanoids, cyborgs, and robots on the rise,
The rich man buys ‘em, no surprise.
There is no need for workers clockin’ 9 to 5,
These bots work round the clocks, always alive.
While people beg for jobs and starve,
The wealthy laugh,...
With sci-fi flicks ‘bout robots and the underworld shows.
"Demolition Man," "Fifth Element," "Blade Runner," too,
Even "iRobot"... just to name a few!
It’s ‘ere now, sharp as a knife,
A world not like the one we knew in life.
Mechanoids, cyborgs, and robots on the rise,
The rich man buys ‘em, no surprise.
There is no need for workers clockin’ 9 to 5,
These bots work round the clocks, always alive.
While people beg for jobs and starve,
The wealthy laugh,...
#apocalypse
#curse
#fate
#mythology
#scifi
73 reads
0 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
16th Oct 2024 10:47am
16th Oct 2024 10:47am
The Rainbow
It was the end of a tiring day.
And I began to head home.
I went into my house, a peace and quiet of my own.
I had a cup of mint tea.
And I relaxed as one should be.
Yet outside,I caught a light.
With colors,that take flight.
It was a colorful,amazing sight.
It was colorful,bright.
Not during night,but day.
Far,far away i the sky.
With colors you cannot deny.
And you let out a happy sigh.
It was a rainbow, made of light.
During day,not starry night.
It was colorful,like colorful sunrays. ...
And I began to head home.
I went into my house, a peace and quiet of my own.
I had a cup of mint tea.
And I relaxed as one should be.
Yet outside,I caught a light.
With colors,that take flight.
It was a colorful,amazing sight.
It was colorful,bright.
Not during night,but day.
Far,far away i the sky.
With colors you cannot deny.
And you let out a happy sigh.
It was a rainbow, made of light.
During day,not starry night.
It was colorful,like colorful sunrays. ...
#happiness
#hope
#motivational #uplifting
#motivational #uplifting
87 reads
0 Comments
oldmanG
Poem Published
9th Oct 2024 5:10am
9th Oct 2024 5:10am
Moon hasn’t slept for days
Moon hasn’t slept for days
Sun looks over at him and says what are you
Doing
It’s my turn you have to sleep
Moon is salty as a sailor says
I’ll stand and stare at the sun
Have craters you have sun spots
I’m a little satellite you are the Sun around me
Get up early moon isn’t watching me make
breakfast
I haven’t slept for days all I do is think about you
Sleeping awake on a 5 stack with syrup
And some toast and jam
You’re getting ready to be the Sun...
Sun looks over at him and says what are you
Doing
It’s my turn you have to sleep
Moon is salty as a sailor says
I’ll stand and stare at the sun
Have craters you have sun spots
I’m a little satellite you are the Sun around me
Get up early moon isn’t watching me make
breakfast
I haven’t slept for days all I do is think about you
Sleeping awake on a 5 stack with syrup
And some toast and jam
You’re getting ready to be the Sun...
#earth
#moon
#sun #universe
#sun #universe
79 reads
0 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
8th Oct 2024 7:32pm
8th Oct 2024 7:32pm
The Call of the Dhampir
Adorjan
Not so long ago, my kind was feared by not only humans but the very creatures that we were sired
from. Vampire or the living immortals.
Normally you would hear that they hide in the shadows and kill indiscriminately.
That is not who they are. We are the offspring of the blessed mortals that walk in the sun and the damned beast that roam the night. We are in that grey area that no one dare speak of. We kill when there is a need for it. Lately the need had somewhat diminished.
Our appetites are as...
Not so long ago, my kind was feared by not only humans but the very creatures that we were sired
from. Vampire or the living immortals.
Normally you would hear that they hide in the shadows and kill indiscriminately.
That is not who they are. We are the offspring of the blessed mortals that walk in the sun and the damned beast that roam the night. We are in that grey area that no one dare speak of. We kill when there is a need for it. Lately the need had somewhat diminished.
Our appetites are as...
#vampires
203 reads
19 Comments
Whackytraveler
Poem Published
7th Oct 2024 11:03pm
7th Oct 2024 11:03pm
The Captain
Waves continued to make the ship sway
I remembered her face
Her smile that shines like stars
Hair that matched the sun
My voyage had just begun
“I’ll see you someday “
Or at least that’s what I said
Without actually knowing
If that day will come
Will I make it home
Or will I die alone
Out at sea
Without ever meeting my baby?
Another day,
Another wave
I’m going to make it
My love, I hope you can wait
Until the day
I can finally stay
I remembered her face
Her smile that shines like stars
Hair that matched the sun
My voyage had just begun
“I’ll see you someday “
Or at least that’s what I said
Without actually knowing
If that day will come
Will I make it home
Or will I die alone
Out at sea
Without ever meeting my baby?
Another day,
Another wave
I’m going to make it
My love, I hope you can wait
Until the day
I can finally stay
#LongDistanceRelationship
#sea
76 reads
1 Comment
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
7th Oct 2024 4:28pm
7th Oct 2024 4:28pm
Brick and Mortar
Houses are of brick and mortar. If there's evil, it's in someone's heart. I don't remember who said that, but it mostly holds true. I say mostly because sometimes the evil in someone's heart can leach into the brick-and-mortar. The house on Cromwell Row was like that. It was one of five uniform constructions backing onto farmer's fields, the opposite of what you would imagine when given the prompt "haunted house". There were no gables, no accidents of architecture turning upper windows into eyes, and it was only one floor, a bungalow, just like its mates.
My husband and I...
My husband and I...
#fiction
#ghosts
#horror #ShortStory
#horror #ShortStory
144 reads
3 Comments
case28
Poem Published
7th Oct 2024 3:55pm
7th Oct 2024 3:55pm
Nobody Knows - The Creator of Our Own Demise
I. The Cleaner
The guy meticulously mops the cultured marble floor in a Vegas hotel lobby at 5 AM. Nobody knows he’s studying medicine at Harvard. The general manager watches every second the cleaner stands motionless, staring at his phone. The man with two minds types a reply with his thumbs to his long-distance girlfriend, reminding her that he's busy preparing for clinical exams, unable to engage in her emotional fallacies with phallicism.
II. Data Entry [escapist]
On the other side of the world, the hotel cleaner’s...
The guy meticulously mops the cultured marble floor in a Vegas hotel lobby at 5 AM. Nobody knows he’s studying medicine at Harvard. The general manager watches every second the cleaner stands motionless, staring at his phone. The man with two minds types a reply with his thumbs to his long-distance girlfriend, reminding her that he's busy preparing for clinical exams, unable to engage in her emotional fallacies with phallicism.
II. Data Entry [escapist]
On the other side of the world, the hotel cleaner’s...
#love
#scifi
#sex #technology
#sex #technology
260 reads
2 Comments
Whackytraveler
Poem Published
6th Oct 2024 5:25am
6th Oct 2024 5:25am
The Wolfman
The beast he hides within
Would make me cringe
In fear and worry
Even when his tastes are a bit gory
I still find myself longing
And wanting
For his heart to belong to me
Enslaved by the moon
He drops down to his knees
The fullness turns him
To a creature that only sees red
I always dreaded
That look in his eyes
It was like a beast took a hold
Of his soul
With no goal
Except, to fight
what he believes is right
Leaving a trail of misfortune in his wake
When the sun comes up
He realized...
Would make me cringe
In fear and worry
Even when his tastes are a bit gory
I still find myself longing
And wanting
For his heart to belong to me
Enslaved by the moon
He drops down to his knees
The fullness turns him
To a creature that only sees red
I always dreaded
That look in his eyes
It was like a beast took a hold
Of his soul
With no goal
Except, to fight
what he believes is right
Leaving a trail of misfortune in his wake
When the sun comes up
He realized...
#werewolves
69 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Fictional Prose Seeking Critique: Short Stories and Chapters from Books and Novels (Page 4)
