Poems About Water Seeking Honest Critique
#water
Poems about water seeking honest critique. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
Neptune
My arms grew tired, I couldn't swim anymore
No one around to help me
A sharp pain within my core
I was drifting further & further out
The more I fought the current
I began to panic, I began to shout
The distant coastline was my last vision
Rip currents tired me out
I made my final decision
I stayed afloat until I had nothing else left
Neptune dragged me down
Drowning was the cause of death
No one around to help me
A sharp pain within my core
I was drifting further & further out
The more I fought the current
I began to panic, I began to shout
The distant coastline was my last vision
Rip currents tired me out
I made my final decision
I stayed afloat until I had nothing else left
Neptune dragged me down
Drowning was the cause of death
#dark
#death
#rhyming
#sea
#water
96 reads
6 Comments
Days Without Rain
In the days without rain
the pond is down.
The few trees that grow in it
bear witness to what the waterline
used to be.
Dragonflies while the day away
pretending to be acrobats
performing aerial feats for each other.
An occasional breeze sways the small stand
of cattails that grow near the edge.
Their mint-green leaves, long knives,
firm as canvas sails full of wind
on yacht race day.
A young frog sits in the shallows,
three-quarters submerged,
a meniscus outlines his exposed body.
He is still as...
the pond is down.
The few trees that grow in it
bear witness to what the waterline
used to be.
Dragonflies while the day away
pretending to be acrobats
performing aerial feats for each other.
An occasional breeze sways the small stand
of cattails that grow near the edge.
Their mint-green leaves, long knives,
firm as canvas sails full of wind
on yacht race day.
A young frog sits in the shallows,
three-quarters submerged,
a meniscus outlines his exposed body.
He is still as...
#animals
#fish
#nature
#trees
#water
115 reads
4 Comments
Dark water
I try getting to water
if clocks give me a chance,
she was made from water
but her words stand
like moons
so I go to the water
meeting my creator
lay down my
skull coloured
in dark maria,
knowing how
bodies speak
more volume
as my legs
slowly ball
inside my
chest.
if clocks give me a chance,
she was made from water
but her words stand
like moons
so I go to the water
meeting my creator
lay down my
skull coloured
in dark maria,
knowing how
bodies speak
more volume
as my legs
slowly ball
inside my
chest.
#water
#minimalist
166 reads
1 Comment
Seaside skies
One sunny day
I was smiling
Smelling the flower breeze
The sea and earth
Enjoying nature
All of mother nature’s worth
As the tides rolled in
Lapping beneath
Passing clouds
And the misty rainbow
Delights of the new days rebirth
I was smiling
Smelling the flower breeze
The sea and earth
Enjoying nature
All of mother nature’s worth
As the tides rolled in
Lapping beneath
Passing clouds
And the misty rainbow
Delights of the new days rebirth
#beach
#nature
#sea
#sky
#water
71 reads
0 Comments
Mmm..Giving Up That Soft Crazy Love
You kissed my tender lips, slightly trembling beneath yours
His voice I submitted my love, desires upon my skin shall gently pour
I inched back, preparing to flee
The silhouette of his soul upon earth’s pillow where his heart now tease
Gently he pulled me closer, my erratic heartbeats sinking in trepidation
Fallen stars, into my soothing waters stand with me among the thunder’s incarnations
How many moons, shall eclipse whispers from Heaven as Earth dance in...
His voice I submitted my love, desires upon my skin shall gently pour
I inched back, preparing to flee
The silhouette of his soul upon earth’s pillow where his heart now tease
Gently he pulled me closer, my erratic heartbeats sinking in trepidation
Fallen stars, into my soothing waters stand with me among the thunder’s incarnations
How many moons, shall eclipse whispers from Heaven as Earth dance in...
#love
#moon
#sun
#water
#passion
303 reads
8 Comments
The Vortex of the Being!!!
We burn to ashes... And rid ourself of the burden of emotions...
Governed by the pure intention of resurrection...
We tend to harness the power of the immortal soul!!!!
Drenched in the vortex of our past lives...
We travel through the mystical garden of hope...
Where courage is the fuel of the flight and the heart, the navigator!!!!
Every junction has its own wisdom... Some turn right, some turn wrong...
As we swim across the depth of self restrictions...
The blanket of pure warmth and divine grace,...
Governed by the pure intention of resurrection...
We tend to harness the power of the immortal soul!!!!
Drenched in the vortex of our past lives...
We travel through the mystical garden of hope...
Where courage is the fuel of the flight and the heart, the navigator!!!!
Every junction has its own wisdom... Some turn right, some turn wrong...
As we swim across the depth of self restrictions...
The blanket of pure warmth and divine grace,...
#earth
#fire
#water
183 reads
2 Comments
Magic in the Water
Magic in the Water
An old Friend's Poem," one of her best "
Crystaline water
cleanse my cluttered mind
weaving your coarse
leave the chaos behind
Riparian retreat
where willows embrace
finger leaf trails
shows a rippling trace
In mirrored depths
your secrets abide
the predators hunt
the hunted, hide
Amorphous shadows
'neath diaphonous stream
caught for a moment
by incandescent sunbeam
Prowling predator
a solitary pike
in the...
An old Friend's Poem," one of her best "
Crystaline water
cleanse my cluttered mind
weaving your coarse
leave the chaos behind
Riparian retreat
where willows embrace
finger leaf trails
shows a rippling trace
In mirrored depths
your secrets abide
the predators hunt
the hunted, hide
Amorphous shadows
'neath diaphonous stream
caught for a moment
by incandescent sunbeam
Prowling predator
a solitary pike
in the...
#butterfly
#fish
#mountains
#nature
#water
107 reads
2 Comments
Relax the Mind
My mind escapes my thoughts
The waves crash
As I burn
The ocean cools
Serenity is what I yearn
The tide comes in
As I go out
The air filled with hope
I scream, no one hears me shout
A pleasant day here on the shore
I'm steeped in misery, this maybe the cure
The waves crash
As I burn
The ocean cools
Serenity is what I yearn
The tide comes in
As I go out
The air filled with hope
I scream, no one hears me shout
A pleasant day here on the shore
I'm steeped in misery, this maybe the cure
#anxiety
#beach
#MentalHealth
#rhyming
#water
155 reads
6 Comments
Way of the water
I submerge into water
remembering
how I learnt to
point my toes
thumbs down
elbows up
feet turning into
little flippers in
a short space
of an hour,
learning to retrieve
bricks in the deep
end of a 25 m pool
how I never wanted
to return back home,
I wanted to dive
in just like my
heroes did
seeing Ian Thorpe
enter Olympic pools
like a giant Thorpedo
carving a few arm
strokes then doing ...
remembering
how I learnt to
point my toes
thumbs down
elbows up
feet turning into
little flippers in
a short space
of an hour,
learning to retrieve
bricks in the deep
end of a 25 m pool
how I never wanted
to return back home,
I wanted to dive
in just like my
heroes did
seeing Ian Thorpe
enter Olympic pools
like a giant Thorpedo
carving a few arm
strokes then doing ...
#symbolism
#water
121 reads
1 Comment
The Clotilda (A Day in the Swamp)
When the darkness of my night
provides no shelter from my storms,
I'll use my sunshine to spend a day in the swamp,
to wash my blues away clear to the ocean.
I'll make ripples in the water
on a borrowed boat
running the banks and
exploring the feeder creeks,
while turtles dive from their logs and
alligators smile as they slide into the murky water.
But you'll never see the Clotilda,
not even at low tide
I'll watch tiny orchids bloom,
talk to the cypress trees,
listen to...
provides no shelter from my storms,
I'll use my sunshine to spend a day in the swamp,
to wash my blues away clear to the ocean.
I'll make ripples in the water
on a borrowed boat
running the banks and
exploring the feeder creeks,
while turtles dive from their logs and
alligators smile as they slide into the murky water.
But you'll never see the Clotilda,
not even at low tide
I'll watch tiny orchids bloom,
talk to the cypress trees,
listen to...
#animals
#flowers
#nature
#river
#water
93 reads
2 Comments
beryllium
In the center of a hurricane there is absolute peace and
quiet. There is no safer place than in the center of the will
of God.”—Corrie Ten Boom
her kiss was not the dew at dawn,
her rouge no golden hue;
the spirit of the gentle faun
found here no xanadu.
she raped the wealth of pleasant lands,
havocked the caribbleau,
life’s peace accord, torn, in her hands,
her winds a wild tableau.
pillaging roofs and trees and boats,
her anger made a stew,
transporting pigs and cows and goats
far from their...
quiet. There is no safer place than in the center of the will
of God.”—Corrie Ten Boom
her kiss was not the dew at dawn,
her rouge no golden hue;
the spirit of the gentle faun
found here no xanadu.
she raped the wealth of pleasant lands,
havocked the caribbleau,
life’s peace accord, torn, in her hands,
her winds a wild tableau.
pillaging roofs and trees and boats,
her anger made a stew,
transporting pigs and cows and goats
far from their...
#environment
#rain
#storm
#water
#wind
134 reads
0 Comments
The Schoolboys and the Rastafarian Men (With original Patois quotations)
Two schoolboys, Dan and Josh, attended the Independent City All Age School in St. Catherine. In the evenings, they used to walk through a cane field near the school when they were going home. Many tall coconut trees bordered the cane field. Dan and Josh would cut sugar cane and pick coconuts to eat. In addition to that, they would carry some sugar cane and coconuts home.
The boys had a big problem. They had to pass a construction site on the way home, and some men who worked there would beg them sugar cane and coconuts. If the boys refused to give the men what they asked...
The boys had a big problem. They had to pass a construction site on the way home, and some men who worked there would beg them sugar cane and coconuts. If the boys refused to give the men what they asked...
#men
#school
#curse
#water
#children
85 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Poems About Water Seeking Honest Critique