deepundergroundpoetry.com
Concentric circles and Wasted time.
As the night condenses to litter grass
stems with morning dew, realization dawns
on me (I’m still here, I’m still here).
Rivulets of spilt milk mix with an unnamed
emotion as they meander through the valleys
of my wooden desk, and I wonder if you cut
off my head would there be nothing but
concentric circles which confirm years
of wasted time?
A pen slumps in my defeated ink-splattered hand,
whilst a dozen ideas beg to be formed in the other.
I'm praying for the starting gun to fire permission,
my mind prepared to race forward at break-neck
speed to find the answers I breathe for.
Eyelids droop and fingertips tremble.
I think i'll just sleep.
stems with morning dew, realization dawns
on me (I’m still here, I’m still here).
Rivulets of spilt milk mix with an unnamed
emotion as they meander through the valleys
of my wooden desk, and I wonder if you cut
off my head would there be nothing but
concentric circles which confirm years
of wasted time?
A pen slumps in my defeated ink-splattered hand,
whilst a dozen ideas beg to be formed in the other.
I'm praying for the starting gun to fire permission,
my mind prepared to race forward at break-neck
speed to find the answers I breathe for.
Eyelids droop and fingertips tremble.
I think i'll just sleep.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 0
comments 24
reads 916
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
6th Apr 2013 3:46pm
holy cow this is great
dark and truthful
:)
"I wonder if you cut
off my head would there be nothing but
concentric circles which confirm years
of wasted time?"
^^^^^^genius^^^^^^^^
you come up with some great poems
well done Scribbler
dark and truthful
:)
"I wonder if you cut
off my head would there be nothing but
concentric circles which confirm years
of wasted time?"
^^^^^^genius^^^^^^^^
you come up with some great poems
well done Scribbler
0
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
6th Apr 2013 5:34pm
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
6th Apr 2013 4:00pm
this is a masterpiece Scribbler..an add to my library thank you..peace Crim :)
1
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
6th Apr 2013 5:45pm
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
Anonymous
6th Apr 2013 4:32pm
Scribbler, I couldn't pick a line - I did try - but the "spilt milk/ unnamed emotion/ concentric circles/ wasted time/ defeated ink-splattered hand/ think I'll just sleep" snippets got in the way ;)
Love the feeling you've embedded here. Another one that speaks to the soul.
Love the feeling you've embedded here. Another one that speaks to the soul.
1
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
6th Apr 2013 5:46pm
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
Anonymous
6th Apr 2013 6:25pm
"I'm praying for the starting gun to fire permission,
my mind prepared to race forward at break-neck
speed to find the answers I breathe for."
Emotional, heart-felt write, Scribbler. I particularly like the lines, above. Greatly inked, as always! Enjoyed!! :)
Carlene
my mind prepared to race forward at break-neck
speed to find the answers I breathe for."
Emotional, heart-felt write, Scribbler. I particularly like the lines, above. Greatly inked, as always! Enjoyed!! :)
Carlene
1
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
6th Apr 2013 6:45pm
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
6th Apr 2013 7:51pm
I really like the endings of each verse/stanza and especially the final half lines. They emphasize beautifully the half- guilty resignation I suppose you were looking for.
1
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
6th Apr 2013 8:47pm
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
Anonymous
7th Apr 2013 1:08am
Pondering in darkness, waiting, then you wrote this awesome .....I felt a twist of darkness here ...
Like like like
Like like like
1
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
7th Apr 2013 8:41am
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
Anonymous
7th Apr 2013 8:56am
Really like this poem very much, scribbler!
Some of it made me think of Sylvia Plaths work, same dream like hypnotic aura about it...
One of my fav so far by you!
Some of it made me think of Sylvia Plaths work, same dream like hypnotic aura about it...
One of my fav so far by you!
1
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
7th Apr 2013 9:28am
Thank you, I'm happy that you liked it!
*I love Sylvia Plath's work, it was sad that/how
she took her life and her son took his in 2009.
*I love Sylvia Plath's work, it was sad that/how
she took her life and her son took his in 2009.
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
7th Apr 2013 9:33am
Witty Scribbler pens again!!!
This is Most excellent as the others have said...
I too shout HERE,HERE!!!
This is Most excellent as the others have said...
I too shout HERE,HERE!!!
1
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
7th Apr 2013 10:11am
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
7th Apr 2013 7:28pm
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
7th Apr 2013 7:31pm
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
7th Apr 2013 8:24pm
I've sat at the same desk many times... great capture of that hot, grainy weariness.
Second stanza, second line, spelling error, it's "dozen".
:)
Second stanza, second line, spelling error, it's "dozen".
:)
1
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
7th Apr 2013 8:29pm
Thank you, it's good to know you can relate to it.
Got it, I always spell that one wrong :)
Got it, I always spell that one wrong :)
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
8th Apr 2013 1:18pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
8th Apr 2013 2:21pm
Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
re: Re: Concentric circles and Wasted time.
10th Apr 2013 7:21pm