HOT HALOS

 
     something    
has happened  
     i seem to be living    
in some other world  
     i didnt see    
the transition    
     coming  
i didnt hear a word  
     one night    
i just looked up  
     and suddenly got    
a cold grave feeling  
     noticing the low    
black ceiling  
     through a wire    
mesh screen  
     over a tiny room    
with a sour  sweet    
     pungent stink  
where quarters    
     dropped    
into hungry slots  
     sweat dripped    
lusts popped  
     and addicts    
prowled around    
     the brink  
of their own    
     dark pre extinction  
and for what  
     its hard to call    
this really living    
     anymore  
its not even close  
     to the ecstatic    
bond  awareness    
     and energy  
of the life i once    
     had and lived  
that my devotion    
     to the waves    
sun and sea  
     had so freely    
given me    
     at one time  
my love of    
     the living    
spinning    
     liquid    
emerald rooms  
     has gradually    
become    
     replaced    
and dominated    
     now  by    
yet another    
     wild obsession  
with darker    
     spaces of    
even more    
     probable doom  
where instead    
     i find myself    
now spending    
     too much of    
my free time  
     down on my    
knees  again    
     and again  
praying to this    
     holey god    
of meat  
     too much    
compulsive    
     worshipping  
oooohing and    
     aaaahing    
grunting and    
     groaning  
as hot halos    
     go flying  
another flock    
     of limp    
white angels  
     cast out    
of heaven    
     shot out    
and splattered  
     all over    
these dark    
     sticky walls  
and floors    
     then afterwards    
cursing myself    
     and my    
blind slavery    
     to this dark    
seedy religion  
     this heated    
addiction  im    
     so caught    
up in  
     so deeply    
frustrated    
     and full of    
self loathing  
     yet constantly    
still  wanting    
     more    
and more  
     so casually    
inviting  this    
     final    
closing  
     this blatant    
slamming  
     of lifes once    
open doors  
     into this    
hopeless    
     darkness  
now staring    
     me    
in the face  
     lost here    
yet again    
     once more  
in this    
     filthy    
standing    
     grave  
with nowhere    
     left here    
now to go    
     than only
even    
     further    
down