A crime never forgot

What type of life can one man lead,
When all he really wants to do is bleed,
See the maimed fall, watch them crawl,
And envy them with all his heart,
Hopes his world will fall apart,
So he can rebuild and start anew,
Live a life he never knew,
Turn the present into past,
A happy life to live at last,
But the world can never forgive,
And he shall die as he did live.