The Unfortunate Empath

When I let myself
I see into people,
what they think
how they think
what they feel
but opening yourself to them
fosters chaos in me

I understand the broken
and the damned,
the killers
and the captives,
the newly weds
and the nearly deads

I bask in joy
and am blown away by love
am astounded by respect
and elated by the carefree feeling music arouses
like life is happening
and there's nothing but "the now"

Beyond that though,
I am torn by hate
drowned by sorrow
and floored by people's thoughts of "no tomorrow",
I'm brought to tears by apathy to life
twisted inside by lack of self-worth
and just generally fucked up by other people's strife

I don't know what I need,
someone to share the load
maybe I could divest myself from care again
or I could carry on,
help where I can
and release more of what eats me
with my paper and pen.