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To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
I will not refrain from making this personal
You have dwelled in me long enough
To force my hand
This hand, that now, won't stop shaking
Because of you
Scribbling ink upon paper-
Smudged with sweat from my brow
Inside
The fires of your hell,
Outside
The tundra of your stare,
Rattle my brain
And from me you drain
My strength and my patience
I retain only adamancy
To rival your vexation
You, who have crippled me so
I pray you know, how much I loathe
Your pestilent touch
But I beg you still,
To keep my hands,
To keep my head,
To leave me this much.
You have dwelled in me long enough
To force my hand
This hand, that now, won't stop shaking
Because of you
Scribbling ink upon paper-
Smudged with sweat from my brow
Inside
The fires of your hell,
Outside
The tundra of your stare,
Rattle my brain
And from me you drain
My strength and my patience
I retain only adamancy
To rival your vexation
You, who have crippled me so
I pray you know, how much I loathe
Your pestilent touch
But I beg you still,
To keep my hands,
To keep my head,
To leave me this much.
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Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
13th Mar 2013 6:50am
Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
Anonymous
13th Mar 2013 9:58am
Awww. I can only wish to rival his vexation.Bukowski has got the swagger and you got it too no doubt about that :D
1
re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
Oh this is naught but a poor attempt.
A sick man's lyric. :P
But thanks much, I'm glad you liked it :D
A sick man's lyric. :P
But thanks much, I'm glad you liked it :D
Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
13th Mar 2013 1:30pm
"Inside
The fires of your hell,
Outside
The tundra of your stare"
Brilliant! Also, your use of the word "crippled" in the last stanza was key. This poem is great. Thank you for sharing! x
The fires of your hell,
Outside
The tundra of your stare"
Brilliant! Also, your use of the word "crippled" in the last stanza was key. This poem is great. Thank you for sharing! x
1
re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
13th Mar 2013 2:25pm
its surprising how situations of distress beautifully turn into wonderful poems :P
thank you
thank you
Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
13th Mar 2013 2:02pm
re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
13th Mar 2013 2:26pm
Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
13th Mar 2013 2:26pm
Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
Anonymous
14th Mar 2013 4:21pm
Exceptional Read!X&O
1
re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
14th Mar 2013 11:22pm
Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
14th Mar 2013 5:03pm
.
stellar drop, man
i had a slight quibble with your use of "stayed"
slight, but large enuff to mention
one of your better writes.. you definitely up'd your game with this one.
felt.
.
stellar drop, man
i had a slight quibble with your use of "stayed"
slight, but large enuff to mention
one of your better writes.. you definitely up'd your game with this one.
felt.
.
1
re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
14th Mar 2013 11:28pm
not as hard as I dropped after I wrote it lol
I didn't really up my game, I just gave up thinking really hard about what to write :P
bukowski is a damn good teacher, just like rimbaud. :D
I didn't really up my game, I just gave up thinking really hard about what to write :P
bukowski is a damn good teacher, just like rimbaud. :D
re: re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
15th Mar 2013 7:04pm
re: re: re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspire
15th Mar 2013 8:18pm
just cuz i have one in the photo doesn't meant i prefer it... maybe i'm just too lazy, maybe i dont get the chance, maybe :P
Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
20th Aug 2013 4:26pm
Thanks for sharing this poem in my forum thread, 13...I could see that you have natural flow to your ink. Nicely conjured and crafted bro!
1
re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
20th Aug 2013 8:39pm
my pleasure,
such flow is rare... i was very sick when i wrote this. turbulent times are good inspirations too. ;)
thank you Engr
such flow is rare... i was very sick when i wrote this. turbulent times are good inspirations too. ;)
thank you Engr
re: re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspired)
21st Aug 2013 2:18pm
re: re: re: Re: To the fever who drained my strength (bukowski inspire
24th Aug 2013 11:01am