deepundergroundpoetry.com
Reverie
I walk you talk, I listen you preach
Compliments fall from your lips but don’t land at my feet
Twisting in the wind is where you like me to be
Where do I stand or would you rather I fall?
Coffee grounds stain the skin the colour of my soul
Watch me spin with insults thrown
Acrobatic nature is require when conversations are had
Simpleton is how you make me feel
I sit in saturnine venues waiting for the sun to shine once more
Watching you hold court is something to behold
Your two faces shine out to me but no one else sees what I see
Dumb I have to be, smile politely and laugh in all the right places
No pedestal for me just a quiet chair in the corner I sit and wait
Attention is reneged while shushing me away out of sight
Words engraved deeply into my heart wounded I lower my eyes
You glow to excess I shrink from the light
Pour salt on me and watch me dissolve
Compliments fall from your lips but don’t land at my feet
Twisting in the wind is where you like me to be
Where do I stand or would you rather I fall?
Coffee grounds stain the skin the colour of my soul
Watch me spin with insults thrown
Acrobatic nature is require when conversations are had
Simpleton is how you make me feel
I sit in saturnine venues waiting for the sun to shine once more
Watching you hold court is something to behold
Your two faces shine out to me but no one else sees what I see
Dumb I have to be, smile politely and laugh in all the right places
No pedestal for me just a quiet chair in the corner I sit and wait
Attention is reneged while shushing me away out of sight
Words engraved deeply into my heart wounded I lower my eyes
You glow to excess I shrink from the light
Pour salt on me and watch me dissolve
Published 13th Sep 2010
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18th Dec 2010 10:32pm
Tell me, please. Is this a poem about living in capitulation of someone else? If it is, I see it as a trilogy: the beginning where at first you or the character believes she's in the presence of greatness and is just happy to be in the same room as the great one; the middle part where the questioning of one's self and self-respect will no longer choose being obedient for the sake of obedience; and the last part where you become free, a self-actualizing, so to speak, the catharsis and ultimately, the ephiphany where you are free.
I did like your poem, Pollybag. A master-slave relationship poem, I think. But it cannot end there; for some reason, I want to see something heroic in the character with an attitude of, "I shall not take it anymore."
Even if you don't do anything else with it, the poem itself stands strongly by itself offering us a peek into this character who is well-aware of what's happening to her.
Jim
P.S. What do you think of the trilogy idea?
I did like your poem, Pollybag. A master-slave relationship poem, I think. But it cannot end there; for some reason, I want to see something heroic in the character with an attitude of, "I shall not take it anymore."
Even if you don't do anything else with it, the poem itself stands strongly by itself offering us a peek into this character who is well-aware of what's happening to her.
Jim
P.S. What do you think of the trilogy idea?
30th Dec 2010 8:13pm
Thank you for your comments, sadly there is no happy ending for this tale so it stands as it is, interesting idea though as a trilogy, i will look at trying something along those lines..
Regards PB
