deepundergroundpoetry.com
Crossroad battles
Force fields are patched up with
emotions loitering spare,
characteristically water proof.
My rifle stares, dead eyes sombre;
whilst the tongue lies in wait,
fervently filing its tip.
The show down between myself and
the crossroad kindles alight with dusk.
Willowy wisps snatch at my senses,
attempting to nullify them jaded.
Puppets are always easier to
handle when drained pliant,
crossroads thrusting obligation
upon their chosen victims.
Dreams thrive within my tilted chin
pared with irises narrowed infuriated,
reality and fantasy embrace each other
forming a psychological eclipse.
Darkness ensures an opportunity solid,
my opponent temporarily blinded.
A trigger is pulled, a battle is won.
Now, bring on the war.
emotions loitering spare,
characteristically water proof.
My rifle stares, dead eyes sombre;
whilst the tongue lies in wait,
fervently filing its tip.
The show down between myself and
the crossroad kindles alight with dusk.
Willowy wisps snatch at my senses,
attempting to nullify them jaded.
Puppets are always easier to
handle when drained pliant,
crossroads thrusting obligation
upon their chosen victims.
Dreams thrive within my tilted chin
pared with irises narrowed infuriated,
reality and fantasy embrace each other
forming a psychological eclipse.
Darkness ensures an opportunity solid,
my opponent temporarily blinded.
A trigger is pulled, a battle is won.
Now, bring on the war.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 1
comments 25
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Crossroad battles
6th Mar 2013 7:12pm
This piece makes me imagine some dark road, full of dead leaves... and creepy sounds. I also see a soldier - from WWI - waiting to fire the first shot of the war...
This is a very thought provoking piece of writing.
"Willowy wisps snatch at my senses..." --> the sounds in this line were effective in setting the mood for me
Although I am not entirely sure as to what is meant to be happening in this piece, I did enjoy the way it made me imagine and explore a moment I otherwise wouldn't have.
This is a very thought provoking piece of writing.
"Willowy wisps snatch at my senses..." --> the sounds in this line were effective in setting the mood for me
Although I am not entirely sure as to what is meant to be happening in this piece, I did enjoy the way it made me imagine and explore a moment I otherwise wouldn't have.
1
re: Re: Crossroad battles
6th Mar 2013 7:14pm
I was focusing on the metaphoric phrase on
crossroads, a little google for you:
Crossroads: A point at which a crucial decision must be made that will have far-reaching consequences.
I hope that clears some stuff up.
I'm pleased you enjoyed my efforts :)
crossroads, a little google for you:
Crossroads: A point at which a crucial decision must be made that will have far-reaching consequences.
I hope that clears some stuff up.
I'm pleased you enjoyed my efforts :)
re: re: Re: Crossroad battles
6th Mar 2013 7:19pm
Oooh okay yes that makes more sense.
Thank you :)
And you're welcome - it's a great piece regardless.
Thank you :)
And you're welcome - it's a great piece regardless.
1
Re: Crossroad battles
Anonymous
6th Mar 2013 7:42pm
Grand, great, greater.....
This poem really intensifies in the end, like lighting a torch, much enjoyed!
This poem really intensifies in the end, like lighting a torch, much enjoyed!
1
re: Re: Crossroad battles
6th Mar 2013 7:53pm
Re: Crossroad battles
6th Mar 2013 11:58pm
It's writes like these that make me anticipate our collaboration ^_^ I'll have to bring my a game to keep up with you. It still baffles me how young you are haha. I still wish our rap battle would have commenced, it would have been epic!
1
re: Re: Crossroad battles
7th Mar 2013 6:11am
It would've been indeed *sad face*
I think your game is pretty brilliant
as it is.
Thank you for your comment :)
I think your game is pretty brilliant
as it is.
Thank you for your comment :)
Re: Crossroad battles
7th Mar 2013 00:35am
Talk about a unique penmanship!!!!
You are truly in a league of your own!
Awesome Ink...Awesome Ink...Did I say, Awesome Ink?! ;)
You are truly in a league of your own!
Awesome Ink...Awesome Ink...Did I say, Awesome Ink?! ;)
1
re: Re: Crossroad battles
7th Mar 2013 6:12am
Re: Crossroad battles
7th Mar 2013 1:53am
re: Re: Crossroad battles
7th Mar 2013 6:13am
Re: Crossroad battles
Anonymous
7th Mar 2013 5:55am
A uniquely & wonderfully written piece, Scribbler! Great title & in particular, this:
The show down between myself and
the crossroad kindles alight with dusk.
Those lines are exciting & for some reason I feel I can relate to them! An awesome piece from your masterful pen! :)
Carlene
The show down between myself and
the crossroad kindles alight with dusk.
Those lines are exciting & for some reason I feel I can relate to them! An awesome piece from your masterful pen! :)
Carlene
1
re: Re: Crossroad battles
7th Mar 2013 6:21am
I'm glad you feel you can relate to it,
I love reading your comments.
Thank you, kindly,
I love reading your comments.
Thank you, kindly,
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
7th Mar 2013 7:14pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Crossroad battles
7th Mar 2013 7:56pm
Re: Crossroad battles
8th Mar 2013 3:58am
I'm ex military (Go Army!) and I love this poem it takes me back to my time in Iraq for some reason. This screams brilliance. Keep doing your thing, great pen!
1
Re: Crossroad battles
8th Mar 2013 6:25pm
Forks and crossroads, dreams of the unknown. Opportunity and/or disaster round the bend - yet be not afraid to explore!!
A favorite theme, outstanding read.
Thank you, my friend!
A favorite theme, outstanding read.
Thank you, my friend!
1
re: Re: Crossroad battles
8th Mar 2013 6:28pm
Re: Crossroad battles
10th Mar 2013 4:17pm
I enjoy your introspective uttering.
Choices we make at times seem the wrong one, yet many heart beats later, we find not all was as seemed.
Even when some of my crossroad ventures went off the beaten path, in the end, another adventure enjoined.
Remarkable visuals you create in your painting with words.
Choices we make at times seem the wrong one, yet many heart beats later, we find not all was as seemed.
Even when some of my crossroad ventures went off the beaten path, in the end, another adventure enjoined.
Remarkable visuals you create in your painting with words.
1
re: Re: Crossroad battles
10th Mar 2013 5:31pm
Intelligent words.
I suppose i'll never know if my chosen path was
the right one so there's no point in using
excessive mental-strength for worry :)
Thank you for your comment.
I suppose i'll never know if my chosen path was
the right one so there's no point in using
excessive mental-strength for worry :)
Thank you for your comment.
Re: Crossroad battles
re: Re: Crossroad battles
10th Mar 2013 6:45pm
Re: Crossroad battles
25th Mar 2013 8:25pm