unedited

I know you think I hate you
and i want to, i really do
but i don't.
I just try and move on from the best thing
that ever happened to me
I know we aren't good together right now
and that's the hardest thing in the world to accept
I'm falling apart right now
for reasons that you have no idea about
and all i want is to be  able to talk to you
when my life crumbles
you're the first person i think to turn too
and you aren't there anymore
i know we cant be together but sometimes like tonight
i wish i could let my guard down long enough to deal with things
i wish i could not be angry with you
because honestly,
my life right now is uncertain
and you of all people know i cant handle that
i'm hoping you aren't right about something for once
i'm hoping you got it wrong
but i'm realizing quickly that you were probably right
and now, i may have seriously messed up my life.
I wish things were different, but i know they never will be