deepundergroundpoetry.com
< Anything Like Moonlight >
Sometimes love asks us
not to be furious
but we are victims of
emotion crying through
these little words
because there is no
help for us
help in this life
there is this
and only this
it seems too weak
too far away to be of use
the boat
becomes a raft
becomes a vest
becomes a piece of wood
becomes a wish made drowning
becomes a dream in death
where we are walking through
the woods at night
where we are asking to
be guided in the dark
to
anything like moonlight
or
a place to rest
and when you turned
I saw your eyes
that led me to this place
you are the moon in me
you are the spot of peace
that must endure
as I must drown.
not to be furious
but we are victims of
emotion crying through
these little words
because there is no
help for us
help in this life
there is this
and only this
it seems too weak
too far away to be of use
the boat
becomes a raft
becomes a vest
becomes a piece of wood
becomes a wish made drowning
becomes a dream in death
where we are walking through
the woods at night
where we are asking to
be guided in the dark
to
anything like moonlight
or
a place to rest
and when you turned
I saw your eyes
that led me to this place
you are the moon in me
you are the spot of peace
that must endure
as I must drown.
Published 19th Feb 2013
| Edited 21st Feb 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 15
reads 920
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
19th Feb 2013 11:31am
Fab poem!
Cool pic.
Just wonder if verse breaks could make for easier reading and render greater fluidity....only a thought, ok.
Please pen on, poet!
Thanks for sharing ;-)
Cheers
Tidespotter
Cool pic.
Just wonder if verse breaks could make for easier reading and render greater fluidity....only a thought, ok.
Please pen on, poet!
Thanks for sharing ;-)
Cheers
Tidespotter
The breaks are supposed to be uneven as there are no lines, just one big
run-on sentence. The problem is that including an image with a poem on
DU limits your line-length and this run-on style works better with longer lines.
run-on sentence. The problem is that including an image with a poem on
DU limits your line-length and this run-on style works better with longer lines.
Anonymous
19th Feb 2013 11:45am
This one reader meant no offence at all.
It's merely an observation, poet.
Apologies, if offended.
Peace
Tidespotter
It's merely an observation, poet.
Apologies, if offended.
Peace
Tidespotter
No, that's cool, you are right.
The one sentence thing just doesn't work with the layout of the page.
I just changed it.
Better?
The one sentence thing just doesn't work with the layout of the page.
I just changed it.
Better?
Anonymous
22nd Feb 2013 8:58am
All cool, man.
All cool, really ;-)
Peace
Tidespotter
All cool, really ;-)
Peace
Tidespotter
Anonymous
19th Feb 2013 11:56am
"asking to
be guided in the dark
to
anything like moonlight
or
a place to rest and when you
turned I
saw your eyes that led
me to this place "
I love the depths of emotional outpouring and the sense it creates of a lost search...the last lines are haunting, yet strong...I liked this- a lot. w
ell done.
Miki
be guided in the dark
to
anything like moonlight
or
a place to rest and when you
turned I
saw your eyes that led
me to this place "
I love the depths of emotional outpouring and the sense it creates of a lost search...the last lines are haunting, yet strong...I liked this- a lot. w
ell done.
Miki
i'm glad you did. (i wrote it after a dream where my daughter led me to the place she'd gone.)
Anonymous
19th Feb 2013 1:56pm
Nice Lemmy...your style pegs.
Strider
Strider
19th Feb 2013 3:00pm
this piece be
mighty
mighty
just mighty...as in
pow
erful -
b'lessins there chooch
mighty
mighty
just mighty...as in
pow
erful -
b'lessins there chooch
19th Feb 2013 7:44pm
There's a beautiful mystic running through this piece. The picture doesn't do it justice, and the line breaks, oh the line breaks are just fine, Ray.
20th Feb 2013 8:05am
20th Feb 2013 3:30pm
"abstract always says more"
Well... I'll agree like this:
Abstract says less allowing the reader to fill in more.
Since what the reader adds is often more meaningful to her/him,
the overall effect is 'more'.
Well... I'll agree like this:
Abstract says less allowing the reader to fill in more.
Since what the reader adds is often more meaningful to her/him,
the overall effect is 'more'.
23rd Feb 2013 10:08am
Anonymous
- Edited 28th Jan 2019 8:46am
20th Feb 2013 3:50pm
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