deepundergroundpoetry.com

Just Up the Stairs and to the Left

You criticize me telling me of the meaning of life. Telling me that I'm not part of it. That if I don't contribute then I have no meaning in being here. You don't know how badly you words sting. As I fight back the urge to scream, "I don't want to have meaning!" �In this silent way, you stab me without remorse. Telling me I screwed up. I know! I know I did! I always do. But you can't just leave it at that. You have to tear me apart with your words of worth. Yelling at me that I am not trying while your hidden meaning screams "useless!" "Pathetic!"�What can I do to escape? A hidden path doesn't exist for me. I blunder still trying to make up for my mistakes. But you keep laying them on. You're not afraid that they kill me. You would rater never see me. You. You. You monster. While I scream into my pillow fighter the inner demons that tell me to give up. They chant for me to cutt myself. The push me forward. To jump off. And I'm beginning to think the concrete looks soft. I hide while you walk by. After of everything you have to say. Will this continue till the day, when I leave. Your words ring in my ears going around and around. Do you not see the torture inside. Your words hurt more than my own the ones that say I'm not alive. You make it harder to move. You make it easier to fall. You make it impossible to breathe. Yet you keep coming at me. My eyes hurt from holding back the blood that I feel like crying. I die knowing you're just upstairs.