deepundergroundpoetry.com
Waiting on the rain
I've been here before
waiting on the rain
watching people pick at each other
complaining about life's struggles
and love's battles
wearing their heart on their sleeves
shown to the world
it's free for the taking
use it
abuse the poor bastards
"That just want to be loved"
it's funny how a few drops of rain
won't wash away the feelings
but will hide it
the sun will set on everyone
but the searching remains
for trust, love, life respect
a bunch of mice sharing a piece of cheese
in a small hole in the wall
with no exit
just an entrance
and they still find happiness
within
as I sit waiting on the rain
to heal my open scars
baring my soul naked to the drips
laying on the concrete
cold without shame
without a smile
or a tear
no care to enter the mouse trap
and be forever a slave to love
to people
I can be my own best friend
or my own worse enemy
and my own lover
but it gets lonely
and I should just crawl into that hole
and die
with the believers
waiting on the rain
watching people pick at each other
complaining about life's struggles
and love's battles
wearing their heart on their sleeves
shown to the world
it's free for the taking
use it
abuse the poor bastards
"That just want to be loved"
it's funny how a few drops of rain
won't wash away the feelings
but will hide it
the sun will set on everyone
but the searching remains
for trust, love, life respect
a bunch of mice sharing a piece of cheese
in a small hole in the wall
with no exit
just an entrance
and they still find happiness
within
as I sit waiting on the rain
to heal my open scars
baring my soul naked to the drips
laying on the concrete
cold without shame
without a smile
or a tear
no care to enter the mouse trap
and be forever a slave to love
to people
I can be my own best friend
or my own worse enemy
and my own lover
but it gets lonely
and I should just crawl into that hole
and die
with the believers
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Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
12th Feb 2013 3:48pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Waiting on the rain
Woah!!
That is by far the best thing you ever wrote, Gigi. Whatever anyone says, promise not to change a word or line-break. That was truly beautiful. Amazing poetry. I'm shocked. Dunno what else to say; this is gold, don't let go of it.
(Fifth line should be "love's battles".)
That is by far the best thing you ever wrote, Gigi. Whatever anyone says, promise not to change a word or line-break. That was truly beautiful. Amazing poetry. I'm shocked. Dunno what else to say; this is gold, don't let go of it.
(Fifth line should be "love's battles".)
1
re: Re: Waiting on the rain
12th Feb 2013 7:51pm
Wow I'm shocked you pay attention lol. I will fix that and I will not change a line xoxox Ty very shocked here
Re: Waiting on the rain
12th Feb 2013 5:15pm
Re: Waiting on the rain
12th Feb 2013 5:39pm
That poignant style that you first wrote with that drew me to your poetry GG....beautiful!
1
Re: Waiting on the rain
12th Feb 2013 7:09pm
Re: Waiting on the rain
12th Feb 2013 7:09pm
Strong start, strong finish, sublime in the middle.
"I can be my best friend
my worse enemy
and my own lover
but it gets lonely
and I just want to crawl into that hole
and die
with the believers"
had me shivering.. lovely.
"I can be my best friend
my worse enemy
and my own lover
but it gets lonely
and I just want to crawl into that hole
and die
with the believers"
had me shivering.. lovely.
1
Re: Waiting on the rain
12th Feb 2013 7:20pm
well done... from start to finish mam. the last stanza really brings it home. nice miss gigi...
1
Re: Waiting on the rain
12th Feb 2013 8:38pm
Damn I think I am hitting the jackpot today !
G...
This is without a doubt my fave of yours thus far.
Beautifully written :)
G...
This is without a doubt my fave of yours thus far.
Beautifully written :)
1
Re: Waiting on the rain
12th Feb 2013 11:45pm
Agreed with all of the above, this is truly the best thing I've ever read from you Gigi! Well done! :-)
1
Re: Waiting on the rain
13th Feb 2013 2:20pm
I must say, this is truly captivating! A sure attention to detail. I don't really have a favorite part, because I love all of this. It burst with emotions that I can almost feel. Write champion of words. Write on!
Chaos_Collector
Chaos_Collector
1
re: re: Re: Waiting on the rain
Re: Waiting on the rain
Anonymous
11th Jul 2013 2:17am
<< post removed >>
Re: Waiting on the rain
1st Feb 2015 5:36am
Whoa I am glad I read it, that last stanza was powerful. The way you summed it up, was well true poetry. Loved it.
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