fear of crows ii

The final two lines are excellent, and this has a great dark rhythm to it. I read it aloud to myself, and it sounds wonderful.

really? i had thought of changing the last two lines to something about "succumbing" and/or "inhaling the waters" but idk

This reminds me of a person the other day I was watching on the beach..she looked cold and sad and she was just standing ankle deep in the sea, looking out, and the waves were getting really big and she started walking in further quickly, but then suddenly stopped, and walked back up the beach and away. It was strange. I agree with Jack, the final two lines are excellent, my favourites.  

interesting story.. those are the kind of times you wish you could be in someones head so you could know what they were thinking.. yeah the last two lines.. i guess me and you both write a lot with water at a theme or idea in our poems.. makes me think of the tool album "undertow".. they seem to have theme(s) with each of their albums and one of them in that particular album (which makes sense just knowing the title) was water.. water has an interesting spiritual/otherworldly element if you think of it that way.. but like we were saying in the first poem of this poem series birds have their own otherworldly element to them.. and I guess if you think about it anything you look at can have a deeper quality to it.. xxx