Love Poem Gone All Wrong

I figured it out just
Yesterday that I'm never
Going to get over you no
Matter how hard I try to.
There's just no point.

Laughing and rushing
All around my basement
Trying to finds the right words
To say to you. God, you're
So funny. I love you. I
Know that I do and I
Promise you that I will
Never walk away.
I won't leave you; not
This way. Those words
You speak, so sweet like
Music to my ears.
No matter what, I just love you
And it's all I can bare
To not shout my love into the
Phone at you. I mean, you told me
Next time I was over to just come
Right on over to your room.

Oh, god. Your room. And I
Lied to you. I really once was trying
To get over you but
Now I know I just can't
And there is no turning back
Because no matter how good he makes
Me feel he still isn't
You and not being with you
Hurts me like a hole in my chest.

I wouldn't
I couldn't
Turn away. And, of fucking course,
My phone had to die and I
Had to say goodbye but
I just want you to know
That I'm there for you and that
I care and there's nothing
You can do to make me stop loving you
Because I absolutley, always will.
And I know that so I should
Just give up already.
Because there is absolutley no one else
In this goddamn world for me.
And I just can't tell anyone
About this pain because
They wouldn't understand what I am
Going through. To hear you, once again,
Use that precious word "love"
Even if it wasn't directed at me it
Brought me to my knees
And I can barely take the days
I have to spend away from you.

It's all just so hard.
All of it. I can
Barely go on. I just can't
Move on from this love I know
I feel and I know it's real.
Your voice on that phone was
So perfect, so lovely, and I'll
Never call you that name again.
Ever. I didn't realize
That it hurt you. I don't want to ever
Hurt you, I want to be there for you but
I just don't know how I can do
That because it's all so hard
It's all just so hard
And I can't help but let
These supressed tears
Fall from my eyes and
Cloud the keyboard so I can't
Even fucking type just how much
I miss you and just how
Much that I love you.... I do.

There's still a hole in my chest
Where you and I both know
You belong. I've always wanted
To be with you and I know
You are the only one for me.
All I'll ever need. Oh my god
I love you more than I can bear
And it hurts me so much. It hurts
Me like a cut
Right into my soul. And I just
Know that I'll always be yours
And I don't have a choice in this.
I just am and that's all I will ever
Be. Just that girl
Who will never
Be over you. I wish this wasn't
True but I'm absolutley desperate
To be back with you. To hold you
One last time and never ever ever
Let go of you. The way that my heart
Never did let go of you.
You're so perfect. I just can't
Stand the sight of you. That black
And white hat. Those dark gray pants.
I love your hair, your shoes,
Your eyes, and even the way you speak.
Even when you speak about another girl
Who you undoubtedly want to fuck.
It's true
When I say that I will never
Walk away from you.



This is just a love poem gone all wrong.


It's always gone wrong. Always.
Ever since that day we first
Met. The first kiss. The last one.
That love\hate feeling I get just
When I see your face.
And it won't go away but
I just keep trying and trying
So hard that I fall. I fall to the ground
And I can't pick myself up.
This time is different. This time I
Know this all has to stop
Because I've fallen and this time I
Don't think there is a way out.
I can't see hope, or joy, except
In your eyes. It may seem,
Well, it may be, completely and utterly
Pathetic, but I am done with
This life. I'm finished. I just want this
Hell to finally be over. But, I
Promised not to leave you. I just don't
Know how much longer I can hold on.
Shit, I'm crying again. I wish
There was something other than you
That could make this agony go away.
I just can't see it happening. My heart
Is still just a hole in my chest
And I wish it would be whole again.
I wish I could be me again.
I'm not even me when I'm with you.
Who am I anymore?
I'm nobody, I suppose. I always was.
And that's why he left. He left me
Because I'm nobody. This is a real
Shitty love poem. A love poem from nobody.

He took away my soul. I
Can barely breath anymore. I feel
Like a car crash waiting to happen.
That, one day, I'm just going to let it all
Go and everyone will know. Everyone will know
That I'm not and I never was
Who they think I am. I mean, who the Hell
Falls in love with their best friends brother?
Nobody. Me. That's the answer.
I hate myself for it. I just
Don't know how to make myself
Stop feeling this way. If there was
A way, I would do it.

I used to dare to think that I could
One day be over you but now I
Know that there simply is no way.
I'm trapped. I'm lost in
This place that is so hard
For me to even talk about anymore.
It just is what it is
And I can barely handle all the
Lies I've had to tell to make
Everything almost better. It's not like
It's ever going to be okay.
You were the only one that ever
Made it okay for me to go on in life
To move forward and now
You barely even know me. I just
Wish I could tell you everything.
The problem is that I have barely
Anything left to say.
After everything that I said to
You last night. After I spilled it all
Out and left my heart as this shell.
I just know that there is no way that I can
Move on. I hate it. I can't even
Look at anyone else the same way and
It's so hard for me. I can't imagine
A time when it was easy
To be me. A time where I felt free.
That is such a sickening thought. I was
So alone as a child. I can't imagine being more
Alone know than I already am.

Nothing will ever change. I'm some sort of
"Addicted" to you, according to my therapist.
She's probably right.
All I feel like doing anymore
That would make me happy
Involves you...
I have no hope, no joy,
I have nothing left. I have nothing
Left. I wish that I could go on but
There's nothing that I can do to
Fall out of love with you.

I'm in this emotional Hell
Torn apart by myself. I just wish I could stop
Feeling at all. This heart, if it
Were torn out of my chest and
Ceased beating, maybe I could finally
Rest. Maybe things would finally
Get better.