tell me I'm irrelevant

What happened to the dream?
I fell off the map
don’t you know, I never wanted the things you wanted
never could stand the star bright grandiosity
and now I’m back in the dead leaf shadows
drifting aimlessly in the wind
across the pages of yesterday
when I was never really there at all

We’re made of words, you and I
as though words can last forever
and I don’t want to live forever
we’re no Shakespeare resurrections
there is nothing here that will last beyond
our wildly lived lifetimes

You suck me dry of my darkness
until there is nothing left but this glowing white despair
I’m no one and I’m nothing
and in the morning addiction of cigarettes and coffee
I wonder why I choose to wake up beside your hollow promises

I had my time, my moment in the skeletis-izing sun
I’m gone now, in the shadows I left behind
did you miss me when I was gone?
I didn’t miss me when I was gone
I tasted silence and the idea of freedom
until I again touched my mouth to the page
and vomited up my soul for your amusement

We’re made of words, you and I
mental guns and triggers
aiming straight for the mind, straight for the heart
hurtling towards a void no words can fill

And I’m alone, like I’ve always been alone
breathing my own words and fading ideas
adrenalin filled and afraid
waiting for you to discard me like yesterday’s newspaper
cause I’m no longer relevant

© Indie Adams 2013