The Mountain

She stood at the bottom of this mountain
It didn't seem high
She began to climb
It seemed easy
She was so full of energy
She was determined that she would get to the top
Time seemed to fly by
She felt great
Even though she barely slept and hardly ate
She'd get tired, but her breaks were short
She wanted to get to the top
She needed to get to the top
She'd have a few thoughts, but they'd eventually stop
She kept on pushing up that mountain
She felt like she was getting close --
She tripped and fell down the mountain
She got back up and started climbing again
She got close but fell again
More wounds than the last fall
But she thought "there's only a few, it's not bad at all"
She thought it would never happen again
But she was so wrong
Sometimes she would sing this song, it was a happy tune
It helped her think that she would reach the top someday soon
Sometimes when she fell, she sat for a while and fantasized what it would be like to overcome this mountain
Sometimes she would sleep
She had dreams of success
Dreams of finally overcoming this mountain
Defeating depression
She'd wake up each time hoping, praying that it was real
But it wasn't
She got back up again, began to climb
Another fall
She was growing more and more tired after each fall, but got up with only a few cuts, it wasn't bad at all
She was almost at the top, but she fell again
She sat down, frustrated. She began to think
She thought of everything wrong in her life
The thoughts began to overwhelm her mind
She got a grip of reality
The thing she thought was fucked up the most was this society
She pushed those thoughts aside
She was tired, but she kept on pushing towards the top of the mountain
She was halfway there
She stopped and looked at the top
It seemed so far away
She sat down
On her face, she wore an angry frown
But she wasn't mad at the mountain
She was mad at herself
Why was she so weak?
Whenever she got close, she had to fuck something up and fall
She didn't get up for a very long time
She wondered... Why couldn't she reach the top?
She thought as hard as she could
Why couldn't she reach the top?
Oh...
That's why...
Maybe she didn't want to get to the top
Maybe it would be better if she just gave up
When she finally realized how much she wanted to die, a small tear formed in the pit of her left eye
She looked at her wrists
Studied them
Why weren't the cuts deeper?
No
Push those feelings aside
She tricked herself into thinking that she wanted to defeat this massive depression
The mountain she is climbing seemed to get steeper
Her legs are getting weak
But she has to keep fighting
She needs to get to the top
But the suicidal thoughts just won't stop
Each step is getting harder to take
Her legs are beginning to shake
She is so tired of acting fake
She falls, but gets back up again
With every fall, she gets a new wound
Each one worse than the last
She gets these battle scars, but they keep reminding her of her past
She sits down
She is so tired
The mountain seems to get higher with each passing moment
She gets up, legs trembling
She keeps on trying to fight her way to the top
But the bad thoughts just won't stop
She is so close
Its just what she wanted the most
She is almost there
Then a chilling stillness overcomes the air
The thoughts consume her mind
She tells then to go away, but they won't leave
She falls down for the last time, unable to get back up
She has grown so weak
Now it sends as if she can barely speak
She lays her head down
Closes her eyes
This is the part where her fragile soul dies
Everybody thought she was fine, but all you had to do was look in her eyes
Everything she said, they were all lies
But that's ok
She's at peace now.
Suicide.