The Standard Corral for a Wild Heart

This could go in upbeat poems, a genre I've never been able to master. It's a splendidly written piece filled with featherlight and moving images. I must admit that, because it's you, I kept expecting some dark undertone, but there wasn't. It's just a sweet music box poem whose last couplet is maybe rather sad, but on the whole it's a rich and fulfilling fantasy. Thank you for the read.

Yeah I was rather surprised myself when I wrote this as it is a bit lighter than most of my works.  I liked it enough to post and that hasn't happened in a while.  Thanks for reading and a list add is quite the acknowledgment.

This poem starts off so upbeat and builds up a picture beautifully, only to have the last two lines knock your feet out from under you and leave you thinking of someone who seems to be reminiscing about when life was simpler, more carefree and wild. Those last two lines spell out a lot of sadness and regret. I love this

That is EXACTLY the point and mood of this piece.  Thank you for reading and your understanding.

pierre

boy! i missed you immensely. and this is
such a great way to announce your arrival,
however short it might be.

after ages i saw the use of 'caprice' in DU.
old school stuff. good it's you.

loved the use of 'impact'. changed the whole
level and suddenly made the narrator seem
transcendent, a la captain america.

'spacefrost' and 'stardust'. love the lilting lyricism they bring together. very effective.


S5L2 "coats me and the ground around me"

you can drop one me IMO.

L3 "weaving an impression of who I was in that moment "

why the past tense here? why 'was'?

may be you can change the placement of 'that moment' to avoid the ambiguity. JMHO.

love the high-low of the end. it's a crash, a supertide that leaves the reader euphoric and affected at the same time.

a very fine poem, my friend. i have one
like this lying in my drafts. never could
muster that will to work on it and get it
ready for birthing. but now you are here,
things will be different.

thanks for the read and welcome back.

power,

sumeet

Ah, Whitewand, it is good to be remembered and with such warmth as well!

Responses:
"you can drop one me IMO."

I will.  See if you like the flow.
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"why the past tense here? why 'was'?"

Because as Dystopian recognized it's a piece about reminiscing.
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I'm glad to see you here again as well my friend and I am glad to see you are well.  I'll catch up on you soon as well.

wow. I felt as if I were riding the lightening with you. Thank you

Excellent!  Another along for the ride!  Thank you for your read.

lovely!

Thank you.  Good to see you are still here.

"Verba non me" no more ;)

Your comeback. Truly dazzling. I could feel in in my diaphragm.

The last line was brilliant.

Good work :)

Hahah!  Yes the ending seems to have had just the exact impact I was hoping it would.  Thank you for the comment, Sublime.  It is good to see you again.

"I look back on those days and forward to every tomorrow
when my heart skips a beat and forgets that's it's alive"

Great write :) I enjoyed your return

Hopefully this return will not be so "flash-in-the-pan."  Thank you for your read and attention.