let 'em loose

he’s bigger than me, younger than me , angrier than me              
standing maybe six feet away, square on, red-faced              
daring me, callin’ me, giving me “I don’t give a rat’s arse who you are”              
so yeah-fuck-it I step forward, ‘cos I’m a man              
and this young cunt thinks he’s holding the cards              
step toward him thinking we’re a couple of insults away from fists              
miss-time it, miss-read it, miss-play it as I’m coming in;              
don’t keep my balance low, don’t keep my feet wide, with one behind the other              
forgetting a thousand thousand days in the dojo              
and in that moment he throws his arms out, forward              
shoves me square in the chest              
lifts me off me feet, my legs churning for grip              
crash backward through a table, hit the wall hard, adrenaline pumping, feel nothing              
strong as roots, cruel as earth              
I gut-growl angry “motherfucker”, come back at him terrible              
tearing the table outta my way              
the rage and lust for life and guts and blood closing my mind, now instinct and hate              
guard up, one more step and I’ll land my size 11 steel-cap in his nuts              
and launch a wall of elbows, open the motherfucking piece of  shit up              
rip him cut him hurt him, fuck I want to hurt him              
lay the big prick out, make him feel the weight of my hate-lined heart              
then a net of arms around me, men climbing in, sane men, fearful men              
the young bloke backing up away, shock in his eyes              
a long slow 5 seconds, while I recover my shit              
look around at my men, the foreman in front of me “easy boss, easy”              
I stand              
know myself a moment              
feel the perfect burn              
then slow, breathe slow, gather regather, remember what my job is;              
I am the big dog, I am the big dog                
breathe slow              
and suck.              
it.              
up.              
then smile              
alive as life