Hiding in My Darkness

Lost and alone, I am despondent
The path I once followed has vaporized
My trail to find happiness has grown cold
and I know I will never find it again

This deep black night hides me
My candle extinguished by an icy wind
I cannot find a match to relight it
so I must stay in this murky place

Each gust of arctic air makes me shiver
Protectively I pull my cloak tighter around me
I seek warmth from my own body
praying  my heat is enough to sustain me

Everything around me is frightening
Shadows, real and imagined, loom tall
I wonder what really exists
and what is simply my imagination

Nothing beyond myself is visible
Fear obscures knowledge in its folds
I doubt I will ever feel secure again
accepting that fact with startling speed

The sound of howling wolves reaches my ears
Distant and faint they call to me to join them
I am unsure if I should howl in response
or remain quiet, waiting for them to leave

I feel weak and strong simultaneously
I feel fearful and brave at the same time
I feel despairing and hopeful together
So which am I truly?

Am I a true alpha bitch who needs no one?
Am I a hero who runs from no monster?
Am I a scared little girl who cannot survive alone?
Am I a damsel in distress who needs to be sheltered?

Can I be all of these things without losing my mind?