Story Of A Feeling

About six years ago this feeling came to me,
Which led me to believe this world is paper, I’m the ink,
And the only time a teardrop fell it’d decorate these pages,
Falling letters from my mind, set free from all their cages.
I feel as though this light was placed upon my weary head,
And suddenly the world was not just blue and green and red.
This feeling came upon me unlike anything I’ve felt,
Like a teasing flame beside a candle, forcing it to melt.
My feelings and thoughts just spilled from confines in my mind,
Once dried atop the surface they were all swiftly resigned.
Immortalized to beat the time and most of its decay,
To share my heart and thoughts with some so I don’t fade away.
So on and on for six years now I’ve inscribed what I’ve held dear,
Love and pain and friends and laughs that all just disappear.
But though these things fade off to merely pebbles on a beach,
I cry them out inside this ink to keep them here at my hands reach.
Cause everything just fades to dust but words last beyond me,
And this feeling’s so divine I must bestow it on my knees.
It came to me hiding a curse for which I’d love to find a cure,
Condemnation to a loneliness that only those like me endure.
Granted these amazing friends that come and go like summer nights,
And it feels as though they only come JUST within my sight.
I’m cursed with only feeling things and not knowing how they are,
Crying them out from my pen, casting my words out to the stars.
Right now I know my words all fall unseen by your blind eyes,
But years or even lives from now the world will hear my cries.
Those teardrops that fell swiftly ’pon these scribes of my past time,
Will bring to people everywhere a feeling JUST like mine.
Its really not a feeling, seems more to me duality,
Giving me some thing to love while I’m left longing for what I cant see.
And even worse, this feeling lets me know what I should, but can not,do,
It shows me what’s in front of me and forces me far beyond view.
But I know one day something amazing is set in stone to come a long,
And lift from me this curse to make all right that’s become wrong.
Send me off into a dream far more sensational than this life will ever be.
Let me drift inside its peace and feel its comfort wrap round me.
These words portray all in this life that I believe to be true,
The happy,the sad,the love that I’ve had,all which I’ve misconstrued.
These words are me, immortalized, to give me life so I can die,
But every page must tally up before this feeling passes by.
I must show you what works within, beyond all my control,
After all, that was the price, the night I sold my soul.
So here I am, crying again, spilling ink out to the mass,
This feeling eating ‘way at me while time ceases to pass.
Here I am again unable to rest let alone sleep,
Out of my shell, inside my pen, causing it to weep.
Knowing you wont understand but trying, and trying still,
To help you see that this is not me, and this “Life” just isn’t “real”.
We’re all just feelings stored inside our individually-labeled jar,
Always walking blindly never knowing what we TRULY are.
We certainly ARE something for we would not be if that untrue,
But such a thing as life is just to tease us with a view.
A chance to see what we can see but never truly know its place,
To look at something beautiful but never feel its warm embrace.
This feeling is a mystery just like the reason it is mine,
All I know is there’s GOT to be more than what we consieve in our minds.
So here I spill my ink out to the world around that feels,
And longs to be, like we’ve all dreamed to be,
So free...so numb...so "real".