deepundergroundpoetry.com
Roadside Boy
A pure boy, a heart of gold,
A future gone, Sixteen years old,
A roadside stained with blood and chalk,
Mere excuse for poisoned lips to talk,
His mortal flesh that does decay,
It shall not hold any sway,
Over his immortal soul or memory,
Sirens call men to their end,
They make their tune and flash their lights,
Senseless speed around the bend,
A waste of life,
A futile plight…
A future gone, Sixteen years old,
A roadside stained with blood and chalk,
Mere excuse for poisoned lips to talk,
His mortal flesh that does decay,
It shall not hold any sway,
Over his immortal soul or memory,
Sirens call men to their end,
They make their tune and flash their lights,
Senseless speed around the bend,
A waste of life,
A futile plight…
Published 28th Nov 2012
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Anonymous
29th Nov 2012 00:34am
Okay, entirely my opinion, but rhyming makes your poem flow less as well. But, opinion, not a live by rule.
Otherwise, I really liked this poem, you used good descriptive words to really pull it together. Nice.
Otherwise, I really liked this poem, you used good descriptive words to really pull it together. Nice.
2nd Dec 2012 8:15pm
i understand that. but a lot of the time, poems that don't rhyme usually seem to flow pretty poorly, of course that's only my opinion. i've only ever written about 7 or 8 poems that don't rhyme, and those are the exceptions where i feel they actually do flow better without rhyming. it's all down to interpretation i suppose :)
