"Snowflake In A Hot Tub"

"Snowflake In A Hot Tub" By Marcus Cooke

Once again my body betrays me  
these sensations are unpleasant  
i sit with my head in my hand's    
waiting for the fear machine    
to stop and free me.  
   
I tell myself
this will pass  
i am in control  
visualize a neon sign
saying STOP  
don't sink to the bottom    
always stay on top.  
   
This anxiety
is powerful and scary  
my soul becomes
tired and weary  
i don't need
to fight my feeling 
these feelings
wont be around for much longer.  
   
Visualize a stop sign,    
this red button
has been pressed  
"i am in control",
hear me  
"I AM IN CONTROL"  
just for once
let me believe this.  
   
I am confetti
in a wind tunnel  
i melt like a
snow flake in a hot tub.  
   
my heart is pounding
as i breath faster  
there is a pain in my chest,    
it hurts
when sound turns to laughter.  
rubbery legs,
light sensitivity,  
they make my eyes burn  
much numbness in both hand's    
my vision is impaired  
must visualize  a stop sign
its like butlins
in Blackpool in here   
please make this hell end.  
   
And so finally,    
my body returns to normal    
the attack has ceased  
another panic attack over  
until tomorrow at least.