End Of It All

I know when death sounds nice,
Something's wrong on the inside,
I cry tears of crimson blood,
God help me, I've been broken,
So many mixed emotions,
So many lies,
I'm dying the slowest death,
And I want it all to end.

I know this is wrong but I can't stop,
I'm killing myself and my life's a mess,
My eyes can't open long enough to understand,
What is Your plan for me,
Because I don't want to die like this,
But I so much want this to end,
Is there really more path for me,
Because it's so dark I can't see,
Is that...a dead end?

I have to STOP,
I have to listen to the love,
To the people so nice around me,
Why did such a tainted soul get such loyal friends, Lord,
It isn't right, You shouldn't have,
I'll hurt them and I know it,
Why, why can't I die alone,
Without love and these people,
Begging me not to go.

God, have you forsaken me?
Just like all the others,
Have You walked away with disgust on Your face,
My misery is clouding my faith again,
Forgive me, yet I do not deserve Your forgiveness,
FORGET IT ALL I'M SO CLOSE TO DONE,
Great job, you know who you are,
You pulled me to the cliff and I'm hanging by a rock,
Either you or You help me or,
END OF IT ALL.