Sabotage

I am broken all over again....

I cannot see pass the past....

Fear, hurt, paranoia, alienation, cunfusion,
shame, guilt and PAIN all compacted into a
marble laying in the midst of my chest....

My soul is outpouring tears endlessly,
invisible to the surface but seen brightly
through my eyes....

Flashes of him, him, him, them, all of
them appear like raindrops in my mind;
a downpour never-ending....

Sleeplessness recalled from a familiar
background drawn out through my eternity....

She is no longer my refuge....
I miss her, I yearn for her, I crave her
and her magic....
I want her to engulf me in her arms and
whirlwind me into non-existence, my norm....

I am petrified of my surroundings which
threaten to swallow me cell by cell until
I no longer am....

Consumed by too much has induced me into
an emotional coma....
Imprisoned into Hells ashes once more....

I knew it would be a matter of time before
I found myself here again....
This has been my home for decades....

I have a new souvenir to add to my shelf of
traumatic trophies....

I sit on my black cloud throne and stare at
them one by one as my heart bleeds faith....

I have the right to remain silent so my
heinous misfortunes are not misplaced...