Beating my meat on the toilet seat (and thinking of you)

A poem I wrote for my long suffering wife on our wedding annivesary

Her bat cave smells
like the London underground
I get lost in her beauty
She's hardwork like a rubix cube
while you're playing call of duty

Her hair the colour of the flames of hell
Her seductive eyes see through me
With teeth as white as piano keys
She tastes like tutti fruity

Her breast like spaniels ears
Flapping in the breeze
Those air bags of love
Make me weak at the knees

She's a beer garden
On a warm summers day
A regular Florence nightingale
She'll take your blues away

She's like a scene from the sweetest movie
A gorilla in the mist
She'll ride you like sea biscuit
When she's on the piss

Some say she's make believe
But thats simply not true
Now I'm beating my meat on the toilet seat
and thinking of you