deepundergroundpoetry.com
Maybe that's Why
I like to suffer.
I enjoy pain,
To savor each second of what I’m told to avoid,
Delighting in my misery,
Maybe that’s why I won’t help myself.
I like emotions.
I love to feel,
Regardless of whether it’s rational or not,
Eschewed from all boundaries,
Maybe that’s why I can’t think ahead clearly.
I like mindfulness.
I relish contemplation,
My ideal state of being
To be simply for the sake of being,
Maybe that’s why I feel like a hypocrite.
I enjoy pain,
To savor each second of what I’m told to avoid,
Delighting in my misery,
Maybe that’s why I won’t help myself.
I like emotions.
I love to feel,
Regardless of whether it’s rational or not,
Eschewed from all boundaries,
Maybe that’s why I can’t think ahead clearly.
I like mindfulness.
I relish contemplation,
My ideal state of being
To be simply for the sake of being,
Maybe that’s why I feel like a hypocrite.
Published 14th Oct 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
30th Oct 2012 4:59pm
I really like the insight and themes here because they paint a very interesting and multi-faceted portrait of you. However, it seems like your structure here could be adapted in the interest of the poem's rhythm. Unless the more staccato rhythm (i.e. simplified sentences or fragments that express one idea per line, not utilizing coordinating tools) and stanza spacing is intentional to achieve an effect, I'd recommend trying a more naturally flowing approach. Simply write the poem how you might read this to someone using a conversational tone.
15th Nov 2012 8:39am
