my girl

waits table in a shoddy bar
reminds me of paz vega while we have sex
the love is not there probably cant see dont know
dumped in tampons wasted in words lost in silence

lives with me nurses me from time to time
holds me as i choke on mahler's final
lets me pour my bile into her palm

i see pity or may be i am deadblind

glides like a penguin from table to table
that dazzle intact in her eyes
courtesy childhood dreams
of sunset boulevard
mustangs spa condos
and a ranch in mexico
with a good man
for a husband

damned dreams

been here five years
all she has done is go on
a trip to santa fe

came down dragging in the rain
post a $200 abortion
crimson still
trickling down
her feet

blood and mud

shit