deepundergroundpoetry.com
them bones
okay
the builders and the butchers
believe salvation is a deep dark well
buk thinks love is a dog from hell
and so on
kafka bataielle nietzsche miller
even nin has said a thing or
two about everything
well who me ah you see
i am a vain man a frail man
not much juice or jazz
no song or dance
scars dazzle like stars on my being
heart pumps blood beating normal
no shit and well that's about it
some women heartbreak
brawls booze blood
all that friggin cliche
them damn pooms come and go
some gestate rest come stillborn
nick cave wails tom talks back
ella wavers above as cohen bleeds
them planes crisscross and lights
die with the onset of the sun
i drag myself around
carrying a shitload
a fucking mountain
behind me cluttered
with every damn thing
you can name
but mostly bones
dull dusted dried
them bones
Published 30th Sep 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 10
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The author encourages honest critique.
30th Sep 2012 6:17pm
30th Sep 2012 7:07pm
Anonymous
30th Sep 2012 7:39pm
Enjoyed your collage of artists here and then adding your own accompanying observation, Sumeet, well crafted. The title is strong, reminds me of Alice and Chains.
30th Sep 2012 9:13pm
devlin
thank you for stopping by and
leaving your thoughts.:] surprisingly
i had forgotten about the AIC song and
the title came may be from memory.
strange.:]
happy writing,
sumeet
thank you for stopping by and
leaving your thoughts.:] surprisingly
i had forgotten about the AIC song and
the title came may be from memory.
strange.:]
happy writing,
sumeet
1st Oct 2012 00:25am
Holy fucking shit, that ending was magnificent.
them planes crisscross and lights
die with the onset of the sun
i drag myself around
carrying a shitload
a fucking mountain
behind me cluttered
with every damn thing
you can name
but mostly bones
dull dusted dried
them bones
The journey, the disdain.
You know, you've come back harder. It's good. Really good. There's an open 'So. Fucking. What.' in your voice, and the cool hollow ache is absent. It's a punch in the face, a kick in the balls. You rob air by contracting lungs instead of taking little gentle sips.
Harder.
It's good.
There were some discombobulated moments in the middle, where things got frantic and hitchy. The 'some women' stanza was not as fluent and crazy as the others, but it worked well. Like a brain-stutter.
Write more!
Happy writing,
Betty
them planes crisscross and lights
die with the onset of the sun
i drag myself around
carrying a shitload
a fucking mountain
behind me cluttered
with every damn thing
you can name
but mostly bones
dull dusted dried
them bones
The journey, the disdain.
You know, you've come back harder. It's good. Really good. There's an open 'So. Fucking. What.' in your voice, and the cool hollow ache is absent. It's a punch in the face, a kick in the balls. You rob air by contracting lungs instead of taking little gentle sips.
Harder.
It's good.
There were some discombobulated moments in the middle, where things got frantic and hitchy. The 'some women' stanza was not as fluent and crazy as the others, but it worked well. Like a brain-stutter.
Write more!
Happy writing,
Betty
1st Oct 2012 00:32am
betty
damn! after so many years on field i can
definitely see now. you have got the eyes.
hell of a pair. love them. nerd-seer-poet.
unintentional psychoanalysis, you just did.
harder makes a lot of sense. especially
coming from you.:]
thank you, m'dear. for everything you had
to say.
will do.
x
sumeet
damn! after so many years on field i can
definitely see now. you have got the eyes.
hell of a pair. love them. nerd-seer-poet.
unintentional psychoanalysis, you just did.
harder makes a lot of sense. especially
coming from you.:]
thank you, m'dear. for everything you had
to say.
will do.
x
sumeet
1st Oct 2012 5:52pm
1st Oct 2012 11:04pm
imago
thank you for stopping by
'round this part.:] and
leaving your thoughts.
power,
sumeet
thank you for stopping by
'round this part.:] and
leaving your thoughts.
power,
sumeet
3rd Oct 2012 00:27am
"Okay".
I have to agree with Betty. I haven't quite detected that longing ache I once felt with your poems. Now you're raw, not delicate, not fragile. I'm loving it.
This is creative, carved in all it's glory from gray brain-matter splattered on a sidewalk.
Terribly lovely.
PS: Ever heard the Alice in Chains song also titled "Them Bones"? It's pretty awesome ;)
I have to agree with Betty. I haven't quite detected that longing ache I once felt with your poems. Now you're raw, not delicate, not fragile. I'm loving it.
This is creative, carved in all it's glory from gray brain-matter splattered on a sidewalk.
Terribly lovely.
PS: Ever heard the Alice in Chains song also titled "Them Bones"? It's pretty awesome ;)
3rd Oct 2012 2:09pm
sublime
:] gray brain matter splattered on sidewalk.
that is gold. beautiful. love that.
'terribly lovely' made me grin. i am happy
that this new direction is more that i
had expected it would be.:]
thank you stopping by. joy.
muchlove,
sumeet
p.s-i used to listen to them a lot. have most
of their albums. even liked the last one 'black
gives way to blue.' and, yes, 'them bones' is
awesome. :] will listen to it tonight. :D
:] gray brain matter splattered on sidewalk.
that is gold. beautiful. love that.
'terribly lovely' made me grin. i am happy
that this new direction is more that i
had expected it would be.:]
thank you stopping by. joy.
muchlove,
sumeet
p.s-i used to listen to them a lot. have most
of their albums. even liked the last one 'black
gives way to blue.' and, yes, 'them bones' is
awesome. :] will listen to it tonight. :D
