the best of intentions

There were never any good intentions  
just an unconscious decision to kill ourselves  
in unconventional ways  
 
We felt too good to be real  
too perfect to last longer than the spark  
of a lighter flicked under torrential rain  
 
I was so content to sit across from you  
un-touching with a just a smile upon my face  
and I know it’d never be enough  
 
Every time my heart reached that perfect junction  
like a canary in a gasless chamber  
you turned on the taps in that shower  
that was nothing more than a prettied up  
POW camp that I willingly let myself into  
 
There were never any good intentions  
just crazy love and self-destruction  
that reverberated across continents  
and cultures  
screams so loud  
that God could not fail to hear our screams  
 
Once upon a time  
we had the best intentions  
and armoured hearts  
entwined with the mutual promise of  
this time next year  
I’ll be dead  
 
And it’s ironic now
that we’re still alive  
and killing ourselves  
in unconventional ways  
with no more mention  
of love  
though God can still hear  
our silent screams  
 
© Indie Adams 2012