deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Small Skull
My small skull,
cannot tell you how many hands cradled it.
held it up to the light,
To see the pale blue moon of my eyes.
My elongated fingers,
will not whisper,
of the world they have touched .
They are not my identity,
they’re not the ends of me.
My tiny tapping toes ,
cannot grumble of there woes.
Of all the paths they’ve been,
they have not walked all my journeys with me.
My skin.
Silent now.
Will not tell you my secrets,
of those I have touched.
It knows not,
all those that I have reached.
My body cannot tell you,
all the life I have lived ,
for my life,
is more than skin.
Or skull.
Or beating heart.
my body is not all I ever was,
or all I’ll ever be. [/font]
cannot tell you how many hands cradled it.
held it up to the light,
To see the pale blue moon of my eyes.
My elongated fingers,
will not whisper,
of the world they have touched .
They are not my identity,
they’re not the ends of me.
My tiny tapping toes ,
cannot grumble of there woes.
Of all the paths they’ve been,
they have not walked all my journeys with me.
My skin.
Silent now.
Will not tell you my secrets,
of those I have touched.
It knows not,
all those that I have reached.
My body cannot tell you,
all the life I have lived ,
for my life,
is more than skin.
Or skull.
Or beating heart.
my body is not all I ever was,
or all I’ll ever be. [/font]
Published 4th May 2010
| Edited 28th Nov 2010
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5th May 2010 10:11am
5th May 2010 9:17pm
5th Jul 2010 7:52am
i thought it an original piece of poetry which in itself is refreshing lol.
if feels as if the person in the poem is unhappy with themselves. maybe sick of people doing the "isn't he/she cute thing.
for me the cap on every line spoils the flow somewhat. loved the first 4 lines.
would it be better in a few verse instead of a singular.
Or a skull. is "a" needed
Or my beating heart. same with "my"
For my body is not all I ever was,
again for me, the "for" sounds a bit forced and overly dramatic
i enjoyed the read thanks for posting it :)jmo.
if feels as if the person in the poem is unhappy with themselves. maybe sick of people doing the "isn't he/she cute thing.
for me the cap on every line spoils the flow somewhat. loved the first 4 lines.
would it be better in a few verse instead of a singular.
Or a skull. is "a" needed
Or my beating heart. same with "my"
For my body is not all I ever was,
again for me, the "for" sounds a bit forced and overly dramatic
i enjoyed the read thanks for posting it :)jmo.
28th Nov 2010 11:53am
Thank you for you comment and helpful suggestions I am currently editing all my poems and will seriously consider them whilst doing so. Thank you and expect to see a new improved version soon :)
