What Am I Counting On?

What am I counting on?
Hobbies are no longer fun
With the soul we lobbied
Now the essence's all gone

Is easy to buy friends
Yet they're so hard to keep
Especially when trying times come
Then you'll know who was real

What am I counting on?
Where else will I turn?
I see a land flowing with honey
But when I possess its covered with thorns

How do one define frustration?
How long can hope endure?
I thought I saw the light
But now I'm not so sure

Insecurity's misery
There's no agony worse than poverty
The promises were so untrue
Now what exactly can I do?

I've lived my entire life walking towards the light
The closer I get the farther it becomes
Too many questioned unaswered my existence's simply a puzzle
Tell me the truth did I take a wrong turn?

My childhood was better
Ignorance was bliss
Maturity's a theif
It robs you off ease

Subtly I progress aging by the day
Whizzing with time with nothing as mine
Rosy days are but passing shadows in confusion I stay
On the brink of existence too hopeless to pray


Well tomorrow they say is pregnant
Mine's stucked in a stillbirth
For today has simply refused to deliver tomorrow
Everything is completely stagnant

What else am I counting on?
I've seen strugglers fall
On thesame road I'm plying now
Even now I still hear them call

Come to me I'll give you peace
But its hard to be peaceful when nothing's working for me
Decay,delay all plaguing my way
Now what can motivate my humble stay?


Talk about pain there I dwell
A man seized by grief afraid to yell
For even close ones gloat over your screams
Rejoicing over your failed dreams

Is it not easier to just quit?
End the pursuit and succumb to the curse
Boy its so hard to stay focussed
When I'm  trapped with nothing in my purse

Suicidal thoughts whisper from the dark
What else am I counting on?
There's no other reason to be here
After tonight there'll never be another dawn