Bad mom

Behind your shadow, I stand and fall. It’s a tough battle, In which I feel so small. My feelings toward you, you might think are dumb. Sad upset confused, angry hurt and numb. When I needed a mom, you were not there, to talk about boys, or to fix my hair. Yes, you did call, every once and while, but an ocean of tears, hide behind this smile. Tormented, trapped and torn, my heart says I feel, seven years after I was born, my heart won’t start to heal. I see other girls, laugh with their moms, I go dizzy with swirls, and crash like a bomb. The anger in me, rages in fright, always staying angry, I just think I might. Time heals everything, I don’t think that’s true, I know something, time did not do. Time has been flying, for a long while, I’ve always been trying, to show a real smile. One thing that hurts, and I don’t know why, you moved far away, and it makes me cry. When I think about this, to myself I lie, I’ve gotten over you, that I would not try. You are a mother, a mother of two, me and my brother, we hardly know you. Every night I think, of how my life could’ve been, tears run down my face, and my world starts to spin. These past few years, have been really hard, for the rest of my life, I’ll be severely scarred. It took me time to realize, what you did to me, tears in my eyes, and you're clueless it seems. I try to be brave, it really hurts, you could’ve stayed, instead of making it worse. I want you to know this, it’s sad but it’s true, you hurt your little girl, and your little boy too! You ruined me, you made me cry, you really hurt me, and to laugh I try. There is a hole in my heart, the doctor’s don’t see. I guess they don’t know, what my mommy did to me. If you want me back, you have to prove, you can be a mom, to me and Jose too! When I screamed for you, did you hear a sound? I guess you didn’t, because you were never around. I will tell you something, you cannot forget, once you hurt your kids, it will soon come to regret.