Repentance

 
Restless questions running through my mind,  trouble and perturb me all the time. 

Will heaven have room for one such as me? Or am I destined for hells fire, for eternity? 

In my time, I've done some terrible things, things I'd hate to relive and I'd rather not talk about. 
The memory is enough, so awful are my sins, let's just say they'd knock you back, if it ever got out. 

I've been called many unsavory things...crazy, insane...a homicidal maniac, yet nothing is said when I put on all black and it's the angel of death I bring. 

I've created some misery and my fair share of pain,  caring for my family, their clothes, bills also provide for my seed; 
the responsibility as a man fell to me, quick monetary gain  became the necessity which birthed the need.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, the motivation I had when I went in that direction. 

Will God have forgiveness for me if, forgive myself, I can't? I wait, judgment day will finally reveal that. 

So, this thought is once again on my mind,  admittingly I've greatly sinned, yet I hope,  heaven has room for one such as me.   

Or will I be destined for hells fire, for eternity?