deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ward. ( challenge)
Walking into work
It's a mad house
Some are in corners complaining
Others scaring up their own flesh
Nails filled with their own blood
Screaming echoes through every hall
Watching your back every shift
Everyday
Waiting for one to slip through the niceness crack
They get their freedom and bam
The entire staff is on task
Some laugh while they watch the scene unfold
Some cry afraid to be so bold
I pity them
And love them at the same time
Afraid of their thoughts
It seems like some can read my mind
They look at you with blank eyes "lost"
You must be Sick to live here
I'm paranoid to work here
Afraid I will get sucked up in the insanity hype
They tend to live happier lives
No fear, no pain, no stress
Friends they talk to in their heads
No need to dress to impress
A Johnny fits like a vest
A bed to sleep in
Three square meals a day
Snack in-between
Drugs come free here
And I'm so afraid
Afraid of this place
Or maybe I just know I fit in more then i'd like to admit
I need to quit
It's a mad house
Some are in corners complaining
Others scaring up their own flesh
Nails filled with their own blood
Screaming echoes through every hall
Watching your back every shift
Everyday
Waiting for one to slip through the niceness crack
They get their freedom and bam
The entire staff is on task
Some laugh while they watch the scene unfold
Some cry afraid to be so bold
I pity them
And love them at the same time
Afraid of their thoughts
It seems like some can read my mind
They look at you with blank eyes "lost"
You must be Sick to live here
I'm paranoid to work here
Afraid I will get sucked up in the insanity hype
They tend to live happier lives
No fear, no pain, no stress
Friends they talk to in their heads
No need to dress to impress
A Johnny fits like a vest
A bed to sleep in
Three square meals a day
Snack in-between
Drugs come free here
And I'm so afraid
Afraid of this place
Or maybe I just know I fit in more then i'd like to admit
I need to quit
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Re: Ward. ( challenge)
1st Sep 2012 7:11pm
Re: Ward. ( challenge)
1st Sep 2012 7:17pm
I like this, Gi. It's real. There is a scene created and the feeling gives weight to your words. You get taken in from the start and follow you through to the end.
The unfold/ bold line throws it off just a little, as it's such a (pardon me) bold rhyme. I might separate it from the rest and let the thought stand out on it's own. Just a thought.
I love good endings, and this one was.
Nice work!
The unfold/ bold line throws it off just a little, as it's such a (pardon me) bold rhyme. I might separate it from the rest and let the thought stand out on it's own. Just a thought.
I love good endings, and this one was.
Nice work!
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re: Re: Ward. ( challenge)
1st Sep 2012 8:28pm
Re: Ward. ( challenge)
1st Sep 2012 9:23pm
Beautiful Gg this is a haunting poem about working in a madhouse..I too loved the ending but you can't quit lovely lady what would crazies like me do without you? xoxoxo
Crim
Crim
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re: Re: Ward. ( challenge)
1st Sep 2012 9:46pm
Re: Ward. ( challenge)
1st Sep 2012 9:49pm
You get paid to work in the madhouse. We live in a madhouse world without pay :)))
A good look into that part of your life. I admire your giving.
A good look into that part of your life. I admire your giving.
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re: Re: Ward. ( challenge)
1st Sep 2012 10:01pm
gg my dear...
Anonymous
1st Sep 2012 10:20pm
...i want you to write this idea again. this time, to give it the weight it could have, focus on one person in there, get us close to that one damaged mind, let us feel how close we are to slipping...make us understand the fine line. sometimes, the best way to see the big picture is to examine a smaller piece of it, yes?
dp
dp

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Re: Ward. ( challenge)
Anonymous
1st Sep 2012 10:22pm
This poem speaks of a nurse who is truly compassionate and caring about the mentally ill.
If I remember correctly, you are a nurse....obviously a good one....so many in psychiatry are nasty. With admiration for your poem.
Peace.....and friendship
Kitty
If I remember correctly, you are a nurse....obviously a good one....so many in psychiatry are nasty. With admiration for your poem.
Peace.....and friendship
Kitty

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re: Re: Ward. ( challenge)
2nd Sep 2012 00:39am
Re: Ward. ( challenge)
2nd Sep 2012 6:58am
Yeah...I don't wanna work there o.O
Good on you for being tough enough to do it though. You tell the story well. I got a real feel of what you see some days.
Thanks for sharing :)
Good on you for being tough enough to do it though. You tell the story well. I got a real feel of what you see some days.
Thanks for sharing :)
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Re: Ward. ( challenge)
8th Sep 2012 1:26am
"Walking into work
It's a mad house"
That made me smile. Awesome piece Gigi, well written. You don't focus too much on the paranoia working there breeds or on the lives of the patients but rather give a general account.
Keep doing what your doing. ;)
Duncan
It's a mad house"
That made me smile. Awesome piece Gigi, well written. You don't focus too much on the paranoia working there breeds or on the lives of the patients but rather give a general account.
Keep doing what your doing. ;)
Duncan
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Re: Ward. ( challenge)
13th Sep 2012 4:35pm
This is a great poem. The final stanza is my favorite part and the conclusion of "I need to quit" is just perfect.
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