myself

Ill just take these pills
To make me feel alright.
Maybe ill get a headache
or not be able to sleep.
Maybe ill take 7 of each
To make sure I had enough
To get me through these 5 minutes
Before I can go to my room
And cut my wrists.
Just a little longer before
The red droplets can swell
And make beautiful red rivers
Down my arm.
Before they can mix with
My tears from all the crying.
Before I can look in the mirror
And see how fat I am.
Before I can go to the bathroom
and shove my finger into my throat
And throw up everything I ate.
Before I can be myself.