Live with it

I came all the way over the sea
Like a new born baby with blinking eyes
Curious about everything that would happen to me
Delightful or depressful  
I will take them all
I will be living this second life to the fullest
Like I always wanted to  
 
Yet, once in a while
I feel I'm still stuck in that little girl's soul
That stubborn willfulness of a child  
That fragile fissure of a heart
I'm struggling like a person drowning in the water
I'm fighting like a convict exiled in the desert
Nothing happened
Nothing  
Ever  
Happened
 
I wish I cared less, so that I won't be upset
But I never did
I wish I expected less, so that I won't be disappointed
But I never did
I wish I loved less, so that I don't feel abandoned
But I never did
 
I'm not giving up though
I'm actually stepping forward
I'm open to things that I was afraid to touch
I'm ready to experience feelings that I rejected to feel
I'm still afraid
Of falling apart
Of being failed
Of the helpless tears in the darkness
But I'm afraid the fear would never go away
I will always be that little girl
 
So live with it
I decide
love with it