I Can Still Smell You

Another night home late from the office
I hide there to avoid facing our empty house

People have stop asking if I'm okay
Like by now I should've stopped aching inside

Still it hasn't been quite a year
Though I dread when that fatal anniversary arrives

I remember it all, the strange symptoms, bleeding
The trip to the doctor, the rug being pulled out from my feet

At least I can say the words now, pancreatic cancer
But you never smoked or had a family history

We thought we had more time, putting off till tomorrow
All those things we should have done and said

I still sleep on my side of our huge bed
Reaching my foot across to find you still there

Then once again it dawns on me, like I could ever forget
You're no longer here and I'm alone

At times it is more than I can bare, all the wasted time
Squandered moments, missed kisses, and postponed dances

Now all I have are the memories and the regrets
And a closet full of your clothes and the ghost of your memory

On really bad days I gather up your blue cashmere sweater
Holding close to my chest and breath in deeply

Though it is faint and barely a whisper
I still can smell you and for a moment I find peace