Distant

I feel so much guilt I spent time with my grown kids today
though I was on edge the whole time wondering when I could delve
into my alcohol not much to say if i'm not drunk or drinking

I hurt on the inside for the person I should be a loving mother
a giving person but the drink seems to keep the demons away
i've been possessed and felt the high of the demonic hoarde

Not finding a vice to replace that high I drink and smoke
God forgive me for my sins but i'm in neck deep
enamoured by black magic and the dreamscapes revealed to me

You will never know what it is to go through space at the speed of light feeling like your body would surely explode
what can I say just the ramblings of a deranged, possessed woman

Leaving her mark not with foot prints in the sand
but with combat boots after all we walk through hell
all I know is i'm going to leave my dent