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The Ass Crasher
It was something of a relief
when the tall, drunken, young lady
with spiky peroxide hair
who had been foolish enough to gatecrash my party
finally collapsed
She lay semi-comatose on the bathroom floor
burying her face in the dirty sock mountain
with the sheer unabashed elegance of a glob of snot
that had splattered itself to sleep
All evening her unwanted attentions
had lurched their unwelcome vibe
from wall to wall
but now the party worm had turned
and the moment for revenge was ripe
I would soon find out
how this ill mannered bimbo
took to strangers
invading her own
most personal of spaces
Ignoring the dried spew on her chin
I muscled off her jeans
and peeled away some grim green knickers
stained with fresh shart marks
that skidded their dizzy course
from back to front and beyond
I was in luck
her butthole seemed to be virgin territory
maybe as yet unexplored
although it occurred to my flinching nostrils
that her private star sign
was probably graced with the same unique aroma
as Cleopatra's mummified remains
So I pinched my nose
and gave a few sharp slaps to her cheeks
which was all it took to open things up
A quick scrub with an old toothbrush
I keep for polishing brass
and she was lubed and ready to go
still snoring blissfully
through a haze of bourbon and beer
As a last thoughtful touch
I placed an old pillow
from the dog's bed
beneath her bony hips
and crumpled one of my socks
loosely under her tongue
to make sure she couldn't choke
before her own personal party
got underway
Then I invited over
the frat boys
who hang out next door
they were always pumped up
whatever the weather
and anal cherry
is their favorite fruit
But it was getting late
and good host that I am
I had no wish to neglect the remainder of my guests
so I chose to leave the boys to it
and made my excuses before slowly shutting the door
Apparently,
she threw quite a party of her own
They tell me even the dog from downstairs
came up for a lick before she could leave
although the footage on YouTube
came out too grainy for me to be perfectly sure
but judging by the screams
I have no doubts at all
that her asshole was well and truly
creamed.
Published 10th Jul 2012
| Edited 18th Sep 2014
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