deepundergroundpoetry.com
< Drugs in a vacuum >
I'm a fictional character because I mention drugs. A lot
of fictional characters mention drugs. But not many mention
Western Auto vacuum cleaners. This one was a Wizard, most
of Western Auto's stuff was Wizards. Wizard mowers, Wizard
refrigerators, Wizard washers... Sears bought them in 1987.
I was staying with some friends of mine in a house they were
renting. I had just gotten out of the army. They were letting
me sleep in their living room until I got things together.
There was this vacant house next door. One day I looked over
at the vacant house and I thought: why not move over there?
So I pried the back door open, ran an extension cord over
from my friend's house, and moved in. I had lights, I had
music, I was happy. God wanted me to live there.
Later I was snooping around and I found this old Wizard in a
closet there. I plugged it in. It ran just fine. God wanted
me to clean the place up. So I did.
Later when I emptied the Wizard's bag I found a drug stash:
red skull blotter acid, quaaludes, a tiny pea-sized piece of
hash, and some pie-shaped orange pills. God was rewarding me.
I accepted.
I took one of the orange ones just to see what would happen.
It wore off about two days later. Two days of fear, terror,
paranoia, and anxious anticipation of what terrible thing would
happen next. God works in mysterious ways.
In a few days I tried one again. Same damn thing. Well to hell
with these. So I gave them to my friends next door. "These pills
are pretty fucked-up," I said.
But they just had to try them. For two days I watch them suffer
terribly. Truly a drug from hell. It took us almost three months
to use them all.
I stayed in the house another two years. I ran a hose over for water.
The toilet worked fine. I fixed the roof. I mowed the lawn. Nobody
came by. Nobody kicked me out. God wanted me to live there.
I still have the vacuum. My vacuums last forever.
- - -
Published 7th Jul 2012
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likes 7
reading list entries 0
comments 14
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Anonymous
- Edited 7th Jul 2012 11:34am
7th Jul 2012 11:14am
Shit, I just threw away my neighbors old vacuum cleaner....Damn. I have lots of housework and landscaping to do, too.....Should I Thank God?
Strider
Strider
13th Jul 2012 6:03am
they don'make'em like them WA Wizards anymore----
great little storypoom there Lem...
swell read
great little storypoom there Lem...
swell read
13th Jul 2012 6:03am
7th Jul 2012 8:45pm
they dont make any thing that last anymore,sending all our metal to china. read nicely, good story as well keep writing
"God wanted me to live there"
" God wanted
me to clean the place up"
" God was rewarding me.
I accepted"
Brings to mind "it wasn't me it was him" I didn't have a choice, yeah right lol.
Lack of drugs hence lack of use makes it everlasting?
A witty write much enjoyed. Nicely penned.
" God wanted
me to clean the place up"
" God was rewarding me.
I accepted"
Brings to mind "it wasn't me it was him" I didn't have a choice, yeah right lol.
Lack of drugs hence lack of use makes it everlasting?
A witty write much enjoyed. Nicely penned.
Anonymous
8th Jul 2012 5:16am
Entertaining :)
This reminded me of, Tortilla Flat, by John Steinbeck.
If you've read it, you might know what I'm talking about. This could have been the untold version of the Vacuum 'part' of the book.
Good work.
This reminded me of, Tortilla Flat, by John Steinbeck.
If you've read it, you might know what I'm talking about. This could have been the untold version of the Vacuum 'part' of the book.
Good work.
13th Jul 2012 6:05am
8th Jul 2012 6:13am
yeah. That's how I'd describe it. Ever notice one false move on the keyboard and the cliche native American greeting, "how" becomes "hoe"? It just occurred to me when I wrote, "that's how I'd describe it." It was almost "that's hoe I'd describe it." It wouldn't be as bad if I were Canadian. They say "hoe" in place of "how" anyway. At least to a southern cracker like me, it sounds like they do. But, if I'd 've said "hoe" on a tomato farm, that wouldn't be so cool. Them sod bustin', no pot growin' basterds would try an' put me to work. God wouldn't like that. God wouldn't want me to say 'Hoe" in the ghetto, either. Folks in the city ain't got much dirt to work with.
Just sayin'. oh yeah, good job!
Just sayin'. oh yeah, good job!
13th Jul 2012 6:09am
As a southern craper myself, i resemble that sediment. (Though, truthfully, the gulf coast
of Texas, while south, isn't that southern.)
of Texas, while south, isn't that southern.)
Anonymous
- Edited 28th Jan 2019 8:46am
13th Jul 2012 4:34am
<< post removed >>
Lately it's been cat hair; which, of course, renders me as witless as you liking something I wrote.
Lizards though, I wrote something with lizards last night, plan to dedicate it to you.
Lizards though, I wrote something with lizards last night, plan to dedicate it to you.
4th Aug 2012 8:16pm
I Love it,,,,I Remember when it took me and my friends months to get rid of drugs,,,,of course we could have just thrown them away,,,,but wheres the fun in that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,cannaballester
PS and thats the only time the vacuum gets used anyway,,,,,
PS and thats the only time the vacuum gets used anyway,,,,,
7th Aug 2012 1:39pm
Yes! But gotta be an old vacuum, those fucking $400 Dyson's with their
see-thru dust bins are entirely inappropriate.
see-thru dust bins are entirely inappropriate.
