tala clark

everyday at least once
almost always 2 or 3 times or 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 or 8 or more
one person one name comes to mind
tala
tala clark
happy beginnings
met
computer class multi media
she helped me on a project
we hit it off
and for the first time in 4 or 5 months i had someone
i could talk
i had a friend
someone gave a shit
it was still dark
i regret my lies
back them i acted like i only cared about sex most of the time
it hid my pain and kept people away
i always did it more the closer people got
i talked about alexa alot
i still do but this ment more than she did
she'll always be my first love and that hurts
but this was the first
human
person
soul who i met that could love as much as i could
she had her problems she kept close
she cared alot for me
dated a guy nice guy...
i was protective at best
all she did for me i felt i must give more
i always do
i don't get much ether
i care for every little nice thing someone does like a dept i owe to them
slowly she became family like
i never wanted her in a relationship like alexa oddly ever
anyway i always wanna skip stuff
they broke up their little relationship
but this letter he wrote
i'm always told the end just never see it before
i got to read it this part is the importuned part
something like you godda let your depression go get help
you have a wall and you keep me out
your cold
so i felt bad she was alone and relief i didn't have to be as nosey
i'm bad about people i love and being protective i am terrible
if i had my way she'd look like a muslim
the ones in the middle east goddam sheet from head to toe even dark glasses
:) couldn't tell where anything is not even the breast hair color o yes all hidden :)
not eyes anyway
i trusted her she found out about the cutting not eating properly suicide attempts maybe that was a little later
she cared i thought it maybe i might be able to stop
i found out about her family her little borther hurts her
she used to be a brat
she sent pictures
Nu NU NUDE ones...
BHHHHHAAAAAAAA I STILL WANNA KILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS
CUT THERE DICK UP REAL SLOW LIKE....
internet old men
before me
still makes me
emotionally aroused watch them scream makem pay little girl she was a little...
FUCKERS... i'm going to go now like an hour
ok i'm back hold on actually
ok i'm really back
now...
o and other things she refused to say
but i had some of the happiest moments of my life with her
she excepted me as a brother and a as if she was sister in blood
she came about half way through lunch everyday we talked i cried alot about alexa
i felt love again of a different sort
i trusted her i slowed down on cutting and suicide attempts
i broke down and she passed a wall never been passed before or again
that hurts more now
she told me about emitt
long story about him god put him in wrong body
he tires to kill himself alot i still
i wanna know
tala wouldn't let me have his number she said it'd be odd
slowly she spent more lunch over a few weeks
i even let her touch me
i liked the hugs pats on the back
i have a thing other than born with family and dogs she was one of three people and that was because the other one was moving and my angle when i was about to get away with killing myself i regret lettering her stop me
moving on
i began to believe of life after alexa
life
not suffering not cutting not pain all the time
life
now thats a bad joke at vary best
a pure emotional hope
she brought taler a friend class tried to overdose a few times seemed nice little round few problems a little goth lotta dark cloths had an eight page suicide note
i was excited
i had faith in her she was doing a lot of good
then i pushed a little for her to let me in her super tight bubble of secrets and she started not texting or lunch i freaked
they where together i had no problem with that
she thought i had a problem with her being with a girl i'm glad she was happy
but i was alone again
i over reacted
she was all i had that was good i cried myself to sleep almost every night mutilated starved bad things
these where dark days
so when she drifted away i panicked
and there was a love triangle to taler was someone else's girlfriend i told them tala got mad
they where fucking making out i thought it was right to tell the other party
soon i devised a plan if all the good i had was going to leave
i would kill myself and blame her
sending her a letter telling her the plan she did some things before
she knows i'm protective and taler and her mostly taler's idea madeout in front of me that kinda shit
and tight cloths and wore her hair down this was a crime by my standards all at once
well she told the vice priceable
i got a week suspension and a D with other bad grades i never got my work tell later the school fucked that one up they do alot
we did talk a little bit after
she said she never knew that would happen she wanted to help
she said she freaked when i wanted past her wall
i just wanted to help her she had depression at least
i made that perverted wall worse it was my defense
well one night she txt me we did alot and i said let me cum first
she said don't bother last words
kills me to think about that
the whole dam thing
she's with taler
happy
and i'm here fucken worce lonely no fucken body
my sister grades hopes all gone that was freshman year i'm now a junior
this is beyond me how i get fucked over so much
what she has with taler i wanted with alexa
i've tried harder
gave it my all
and i get screwed
ether this is all i'm gonna get outta life
nothings got better i've only learned how to deal with it better
or i'm gonna kill myself one day
or i'm gonna snap and someone's gonna pay for there crimes
or god's gonna get his shit to fucken gather and make it a little goddam easier
but it kills me to know that i try and i suffer for it
she screwed up worse and she's happy
has exactly what i wanted
she owes me other things as well
one day i'm gonna run out of wall when people keep hammering at it chipping it away and its gonna be messy
i can't let go it just bottles up
i'm getting way to good at this