deepundergroundpoetry.com
Disguised
Blankets of water fall from the sky
and beat my windows into submission.
The heavy torrent creates streams
chasing down the glass
granting me a submarine view
then I battle with the air.
The violent virgin rain
is the solemn sound of goodbye.
I've forgotten her last words
they can't of been worth a memory
but a memory to me right now
will crush me like these walls, this
draining vacuum tightens like a vice
and it pours like relentless lightning
as I unwillingly clench the still.
I escape these heavy-growing walls
and shrug my soul off
into the water's scattered pockets
to eventually seep back
through the earth's umbilical cord
as I hide my tears
in the cover of the rain.
and beat my windows into submission.
The heavy torrent creates streams
chasing down the glass
granting me a submarine view
then I battle with the air.
The violent virgin rain
is the solemn sound of goodbye.
I've forgotten her last words
they can't of been worth a memory
but a memory to me right now
will crush me like these walls, this
draining vacuum tightens like a vice
and it pours like relentless lightning
as I unwillingly clench the still.
I escape these heavy-growing walls
and shrug my soul off
into the water's scattered pockets
to eventually seep back
through the earth's umbilical cord
as I hide my tears
in the cover of the rain.
Published 6th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
7th Jun 2012 1:52am
Crying under the rain is a good disguise for tears, but not for pain. I do mine in the showers and it hurts no less too. I feel it, MrAlptraum.
7th Jun 2012 12:09pm
7th Jun 2012 1:24pm
Mr. A
You know your strength. And like a child
you flex your muscles and that's a display.
Of your prowess.
Like I have said before, I had heard it. Until I saw it myself and I see it now.
In another alternate reality, I have a feeling that you are named 'Metaphor'.:)
Immaculate imagery here. Such fluid and dancing images you paint.
'and it pours like relentless lightning
as I unwillingly clench the still.'
I mean, this won't budge off me for ages now.
It's a bear-trap of an image. Bravo.
'and shrug my soul off
into the water's scattered pockets'
Intelligent, tangible and poetic.
I should read your older poems. They tantalize me. Write on, sir. More, please.
Respect,
Sumeet
p.s-'they can't of been worth a memory'
There is something odd about it. Probably
you meant 'have been a memory'. IMO.
You know your strength. And like a child
you flex your muscles and that's a display.
Of your prowess.
Like I have said before, I had heard it. Until I saw it myself and I see it now.
In another alternate reality, I have a feeling that you are named 'Metaphor'.:)
Immaculate imagery here. Such fluid and dancing images you paint.
'and it pours like relentless lightning
as I unwillingly clench the still.'
I mean, this won't budge off me for ages now.
It's a bear-trap of an image. Bravo.
'and shrug my soul off
into the water's scattered pockets'
Intelligent, tangible and poetic.
I should read your older poems. They tantalize me. Write on, sir. More, please.
Respect,
Sumeet
p.s-'they can't of been worth a memory'
There is something odd about it. Probably
you meant 'have been a memory'. IMO.
7th Jun 2012 6:19pm
Why thank you, Sumeet.
I wasn't sure about the pouring lightning, but I'm glad you found no fault with it.
Yes I'm afraid I can't dismiss my metaphorical mind anymore. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
I just meant her last words were obviously not important enough as I had no memory of them.
Once again, thanks for your keen eye and good words.
I wasn't sure about the pouring lightning, but I'm glad you found no fault with it.
Yes I'm afraid I can't dismiss my metaphorical mind anymore. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
I just meant her last words were obviously not important enough as I had no memory of them.
Once again, thanks for your keen eye and good words.
