Dysfunction

Interesting

Whether that was a good "interesting" or a bad one, that means a lot to me. Thanks!

very nice;) post so more;)

I'll be sure to tell you when my next poem is out :) Thanks!

Bravo for ...drop me and I will break ... for all the brave of us, there but for the grace of you know who go all of us

It may be that my brain isn't working properly at the moment but I'm having a wee bit of trouble understanding the comment. However, it sounded positive, so I'll try with a "thank you". So thanks for reading and commenting!

Nice, compact, no fat. Good image of what I wouldn't quite describe as powerlessness. It's more like a voluntarily surrendering your will. Two good images. The reed is typical in oriental poetry as an example of flexibility or surrender. Instead of the wind bending the reed this time, you place it somewhere unexpected, in the water which makes it a little more original to me.

Second image the doll deliberately voluntarily sexual with a fake veneer of innocence. Obviously where the dysfunction comes in.

You give us the timing of the falling by putting the "drop me" in one stanza and the breaking in the next. I guess I kind of feel sorry when she breaks, but I don't know. All fun to play with, what should she expect?

Cool little poem. Dense and compact. I like.

Wow. Thank you.
I love to see someone analyze my poems like that. It's one of the most interesting things in the world to me, to see what's essentially my views (on myself especially) picked apart like that.
I am also very impressed. What you said about the reed was very true, about it being sort of a sign of surrender. I placed it in the water because wherever the water goes, the reed will go next, showing that my surrender eliminates my resistance.
And for the portion about the doll, when I say "fun to play with", I'm referring to the many times in my life I've been "toyed" with by people I originally trusted. Something that has happened quite often to me, mostly because people take advantage of my loyalty.
About the symbolism of the doll, that was pretty much spot on.
So thank you, that was very interesting for me :) You're a true poet.

Perhaps the empty vessel image is an over-used phrase and has more spiritual an implication than what you are going for here. Possibly just "I am empty." by itself... or if it has to be an empty something, then "vessel" is probably too generic. The harbor was an unexpected place for the reed, so maybe there should be a less-common empty something to start with. It shouldn't be so tricky or uncommon though to make it obvious that you are being clever. If any of that makes sense.

"Empty" wasn't exactly what I was going for with the part about the vessel, but that's actually my least favorite line in the poem. I agree with you, it's far too genetic. Of course, my poem is still a work in progress, and I've been trying to figure out a replacement line for it.
But thanks for your crit, and I'd just like to say that I love your profile picture!

i loved reading this. it was very cool how everything felt so put together and yet...like you didn't have to try so hard to do it :) its great!

Thank you! That means a lot to me :)

What can I say after all that, except Bravo

Thank you, Glynis! :)

Haha, thank you!
I love a metaphor, but only if it's good ;)

On my third read through of this piece all of its complexity flows out through its simplicity. I love it!

Thanks so much :)