Retaining

Holding onto a mournful past
Reaching for something just beyond my grasp
Trying to let go, to forget what happened last  
Looking for an escape from the darkness within
Waiting for a love I may never feel again
Searching for his face in the wind
Longing for his caring essence
Missing his intoxicating presence
Knowing he is gone for good
Losing all hope, why am I so misunderstood?  
Regretting all I have done  
Feeling it was my fault from the moment the pain had begun
Attempting to love another with all my will  
Lovig him still